


Personal Chef

by then_let_it_be_true



Category: Poldark (TV 2015), Poldark - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:05:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 30,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/then_let_it_be_true/pseuds/then_let_it_be_true
Summary: Demelza Carne has recently graduated from Culinary School and has been hired as a personal chef for aspiring actor Ross Poldark.  The rules say they cannot meet while she is employed for him, but a chance encounter brings them together.  Will they break the rules?  Will she lose her job?





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

She could hardly believe it was true, it was all happening so fast. Had she really just graduated from the Culinary Institute of America at Greysytone, California and landed herself her first job? She read her certificate again: Demelza Carne, AOS in Culinary Arts, Graduating With Honors. Yep. This was happening. The Institute, as an incentive, offered a job at Private Chefs, Inc. of Beverly Hills to the top graduate of the class, and this year that was her. She had many reasons for working as hard as she did: as far back as she could remember, she had never wanted anything more than to become a chef, and everyone she knew, including her father, had not held back in telling her what a mistake it was to leave Ohio to pursue this “pipe dream.”

Not only did she land a job with the PCI of Beverly Hills, she had her first client. The Agency had provided her with his bio. Demelza already had forgotten his name and opened up the folder to remind herself. "Ross Poldark, aspiring Irish actor, filming in Los Angeles," she read to herself. There was even a picture too. Her fingers slid over the glossy photo. He really wasn’t her type. He was extremely hairy. Full beard, and seriously, a man bun? Demelza could hardly stifle her eyeroll. Just as well, because the agency had a strict code of ethics on client/chef relationships. Rule number one was that they could NEVER meet. Chefs were there to provide a culinary service, not a personal one. Each client had provided the Agency with a day they would be away from home, and that was when the chef would go in, occupy their kitchens, and fill their fridge and freezers with gourmet meals they could easily reheat throughout the week.

Coming back from a jog, Ross stopped at his mailbox to gather the mail. Along with the usual bills and junk mail was a big brown envelope. Opening it revealed the information and assignment of the personal chef he had applied for. Her bio was included but there was no picture. Leaning up against his mailbox, still out of breath from his brisk run, he read the info; Demelza Carne, recent CIA graduate, top graduate with honors of her class. Ross was relieved for someone to start making meals for him. Even though he could cook, he just wasn’t himself lately. He chalked it up to being displaced from Ireland and missing home. He didn’t know many people here in California, just those on set as he filmed his TV drama. He seemed to drown his sorrows by going to local fast-food restaurants, and then cursing himself when he found it necessary to spend more time in the gym, or increasing the duration of his run, as he had just done. This felt like a step to getting back on the right track. 

It’s not like he would admit this to anyone, but Ross was lonely. Once filming was done for the day, everyone seemed to go in their own separate directions, and his was to this empty house. Oh sure, there were the crew parties and occasional get-togethers; on Friday’s oftentimes everyone would gather in a bar or club, celebrating the scenes that were captured and ready to be added to the final reel of this project; but more often than not, Ross found himself alone. It was a comfort to him to know that somebody else would be there, and as much as he wanted to meet her, the brown envelope in his mailbox also included a very strict rule sheet on client / chef protocol. Ross had provided Wednesdays as a day he would be away from home, and the Agency made it perfectly clear that he was not to be in the house from the hours of 8 am and 4 pm. It still was a comfort to know somebody was coming over whether he was home or not. 

When her GPS had finally led her to his front door, Demelza noted that his house was very unassuming. It was your typical California home, Spanish architecture, terra-cotta roof. She was sure he was just renting this while here in the States, but either he or his agent had great taste. If the outside of his house was unassuming, the kitchen certainly was not. Demelza’s mouth gaped open as she set her keys and phone down on the center island. This kitchen was fully furnished - Viking 6 burner commercial-grade gas range with a decorative hood, Sub-Zero clear-glass refrigerators, freezer and warming drawers, marble countertops, and a ginormous center island. Demelza opened what appeared to be a pantry and saw it was a kind of supply cabinet: Espresso machines, Kitchen Aid and Cuisinart, as well as Le Creuset cookware. Demelza smiled to herself as she pushed play on her Ryan Adams playlist and got to work.

Her only mistake was telling her friends who her client was. They constantly asked her questions about him like had she met him? Did she know what he was filming? Demelza was continually reminding them about the Agency rules. They didn’t seem to care and googled him without her knowledge. It was at a lunch date when they informed her that he was here in the States filming some sort of period drama for Masterpiece. Demelza gave an eyeroll that would’ve made Anderson Cooper proud. Period drama? She never understood why people got into those. Someone puts on a puffy white shirt and rides a horse. The end. No, their paths would never cross. As she was deep in thought, one of her friends shoved a cellphone in her face. “What am I looking at?" Demelza asked. It was a man, shirtless and in a field with an old-fashioned farm-tool in his hand. “Is that a sickle?” Demelza asked. "THAT'S what you notice? THIS is your client!” the friend had told her. "Well, he certainly goes to the gym!” She stared at his ripped torso and immediately thought of re-evaluating her menu to allow for more figure-friendly meals.

Today was the fourth time Demelza was coming to Ross’s house to cook. She could barely believe she had worked here a month. It really was a dream job. On this particular day, Demelza was attempting her first Saltimbocca and didn’t realize she had forgotten to bring the veal and prosciutto as she rifled through her bags. At least there was a Whole Foods nearby. She knew it would be a gamble for them to have the cut of veal she wanted and a conversation with the head butcher proved that she was right. He assured her that if she shopped first, by the time she was done he would have the meat prepared and packaged to go. Demelza already had the menu planned out for the following week, and decided to shop for those needed items also and store them in Ross’s pantry until ready. She was just about to cross off the last item from her lengthy grocery list when she heard over the loud-speaker, “Demelza Carne, please come back to the Meat Department.”

Navigating her overflowing cart to the back of the store, Demelza had no idea that Ross Poldark, THE Ross Poldark, was also shopping. His filming was over early, and knowing he couldn’t go home with her there, he decided to kill some time at the market. Also hearing the announcement, he immediately recognized the name as the chef who had been keeping his belly full as well as helping him be a little less homesick for home-cooked meals. 

He was already standing at the counter when she arrived. The woman approaching was tall and thin, her hair a bright red-auburn in a tidy braid. He noticed her classic good looks, not much makeup, but she didn’t need it. She looked incredibly fuss-free in a gray t-shirt and ripped jeans. The writing was so worn out, but Ross thought her t-shirt said “I’m 25% funny and 85% bad at math.” When she was standing in front of him, he noticed on her $1 rubber flip-flops was a set of 10 of the finest pedicured toenails. She clearly was a mystery and someone he would like to know better. 

Demelza pushed the bell at the counter and as she waited for the butcher, the customer randomly standing beside her flashed her the warmest smile she had ever seen on a man, with two slightly crooked front teeth. “Demelza Carne?” he inquired while extending his hand. “I’m Ross Poldark. I’ve been enjoying your meals so much! What a coincidence that we are both here today and I get to tell you so!" and vigorously shook her hand. His hair was devoid of the man bun she despised from his bio pic and instead was in long, loose curls. His full beard was replaced by a decent 5 o’clock shadow. Demelza could not wash the expression of pure fright off her face. When she finally could speak she said, “Uh…nice to meet you, but I’m afraid I will be fired if I fraternize with the clients and I really need this job.” She immediately looked at the floor. Was she really saying this? Out loud? “Well, the last thing I want is for you to stop cooking for me,” he explained, “so I won’t tell if you don’t,” and gave her a wink that made her feel surprisingly weak in the knees. As she just stood there like a statue he said, “Here. Let me get this for you,” and reached out for the white package the butcher was handing him, nestling it in her cart. 

“Looks like you’re ready to check out,” he remarked looking at all the groceries. “Is this all for me?” he asked as they were walking to the registers. All Demelza could do was walk behind the cart, gripping the handle, not quite believing this nightmare. “What am I eating this week?” he said while rifling through the items. That was it. "Sir!” she said, too afraid to call him Ross, “I must ask you to leave! It’s against protocol!” He knew what the protocol was. “Lane 3 looks ready,” he said ignoring her as he led the cart over in that direction. He immediately began bending down and putting the items on the conveyer belt. 

After everything was in brown paper bags, he walked her out to the parking lot asking, “Which car is yours?” “Sir!" she was starting to lose it. He interrupted her, “please call me Ross.” “Ross!" she said, noticing his name was like music on her tongue, “I must ask you to leave! Someone could see us!” “Nonsense,” he reassured her. I’m just going to help you load your car. Look at all these bags. You'll be here forever! ” He knew it was probably not his best idea to be standing here with her, but something in him could not bring himself to leave her yet. She reluctantly pointed him to her black Honda Accord and popped the trunk. He loaded everything in before flashing her that same toothy grin, saying, “Meet you back at my house.” The look of horror on her face made him break out into this infectious and baritone chuckle. “I’m kidding, but I will look forward to your food.” So much for trying to loosen her up, he thought.

He was still standing and waving as she drove out of the parking lot. “What the HELL?” she thought to herself. She was shaking. She wasn’t planning on him being that charming, nor did she ever stop to think he’d have an accent. “Duh, Demelza! Irishman,” she reminded herself. An adorable accent at that. She caught herself smiling in the rearview as she remembered the way he pronounced certain words. “Pull it together, Carne!” she told herself. And at the next red light, she rested her head on the top of the steering wheel, rolling it slowly from side to side, not sure of what she had gotten herself into.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does Ross and Demelza's chance meeting at the market affect them as she moves forward in her employment for him? Will rules be followed?

When she arrived back to his house with the groceries, she waited for him. Shutting her motor off, she sat there waiting for any car to pull up and park in the driveway. Nothing, and even though Demelza was glad to be able to get her cooking done without any interruptions, when she saw the amount of bags she had to carry in, she was disappointed he wouldn’t be able to help her. 

That afternoon came and went without any sign of Ross. In fact, she didn’t see him even in the weeks that followed. But she told him to stay away. She threatened her job to him. And he did what she asked. She told herself that she should be happy. But she wasn’t. She decided her disappointment stemmed from the impression she had allowed him to make on her, or perhaps the impression she feared she did not make on him. If only Demelza knew how much Ross actually thought of her too. In that chance meeting with her almost a month ago, she had managed to completely captivate him. He wanted to get to know her, to see what she was about, but she seemed so earnest in explaining how much she needed this job, and he had read the rules with his own two eyes.

She found herself thinking about him, even when she was not in his kitchen. She promised herself she wouldn’t google him, but she googled him. God, did she google him. She went over to Youtube and watched his TV shows he had made in the UK: the one where he was a medical receptionist, and also the one where he was a vampire. She even watched the entire first season of his period drama. She wasn’t sure why she wanted him to be a bad actor, but it didn’t take long to see how talented he was. “Shit,” she thought. 

She even saw his house differently. Everything was a clue about who he was; the Guinness in the fridge, the boxes of kids’ sugary cereals in his cabinet, the protein bars... It was no longer just a jacket on the back of a chair, it was his jacket. If it weren’t for her fear of Agency rules or the possibility of surveillance cameras, it would’ve been so easy to snoop through the rest of the house for even more information. But she confined herself to the kitchen, as instructed. To Ross, every meal he ate also told him something about her; the care she put into each dish, how she left his kitchen spotless, how she arranged the containers in his fridge just-so with detailed, handwritten instructions…he could tell she enjoyed what she did and was good at it. Who was he to spoil this for her?

It was a rainy morning when she turned the lock, entering his kitchen for a day of work. She shook her umbrella off and left it by the door, next to a pair of well-worn Nike Cross Trainers. Setting her keys down on the island is when she saw it, a note. She stopped to push her wet bangs away from her eyes before picking it up.

Demelza,  
My mum and brother will be flying in this weekend. Breakfast is the most important meal  
for us Poldarks. I would love to have something nice for them. Could you please be a  
doll and help me? Respectfully yours,

Ross

PS: It was great meeting you at Whole Foods last month

 

It was not lost on her that he said “mum.” This whole Irish thing was adorable. She knew right away her homemade pecan rolls with layers of gooey frosting would be just the thing. She checked the time on her cellphone, gauging if she would be able to let the rolls rise while still cooking the other meals. Yeah, she could do it. Before she left, she covered the rolls with plastic-wrap and placed them in the front of the fridge, where he would be sure to find them. She put a post-it note on top with the baking instructions. She decided this was the better route than leaving him a note on the island. Actually, she had tried to write one, but stared at the blank paper for what seemed like hours before giving up.

All that week she wondered how things had gone over. Sure enough, the following week, a new note was on the island:

Demelza,  
Holy Hell! What were those things? We ate them all. If you don’t mind, I told mum I  
made them myself. She was so proud! Her son can act AND bake!  
Respectfully yours,

Ross

She picked up the pen still on the island, flipped the note over and wrote:

Ross,  
I’m glad you liked the pecan rolls. Please feel free anytime to leave me suggestions or  
requests on what you would like to eat. It really is a pleasure working for you,

Demelza

She wondered if she should have ended the note that way, but it was in ink and it was too late. If she scratched it out, he could probably still read it anyways. She shrugged her shoulders and tossed the note on the island before she locked up and headed out.

The following week, she noticed the island was devoid of any notes. She really wasn’t sure why she was surprised. Her last one hadn’t really left a reason for any further dialogue. Just as well, she thought. She began spreading out her recipes to get her game plan started when she heard it. A sneeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, my apologies as I realize the "Ross" in this fic is actually...well, you know who he is. I know that Ross has lost both his mother and his brother...but to someone else, these people are very much alive. This Ross has a father too. It was my goal to make my "Ross" be a fusion of Ross Poldark elements and elements of...that other person. Please don't hate me. Also, this is my very first multi-chaptered writing endeavor, EVER. I appreciate the time you took to read my fic and appreciate your comments! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demelza discovers she's not alone in the house when she hears a sneeze.

This wasn’t just any sneeze. This was an I’m-Going-Try-To-Sneeze-So Quietly-That-It-Will-Sound-Twice-As-Loud sneeze. And not even once. Twice. “Hello?” Demelza shouted up from where she was standing. Nothing. “Is someone here?” she called out nervously. She about had a heart attack when she spun around from the island to see him standing in the doorway. He was wearing sweats and a robe, and had dark circles under his eyes. She could tell he was sick when he said “Hi, Demelza” and it came out more like “Debelza.” “I’ve caught something nasty,” he explained. “I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to call the agency and tell them not to have you come or if I was supposed to call you and I didn’t have your number and I didn’t know what to do so I just stayed here and I thought I could be really quiet and…” He was rambling. She cut him off, “It’s ok. I’m actually not sure what the proper procedure is either. I’ll ask, ‘for a friend,’ of course,” she said making air quotes and laughing, “and next time we’ll know what to do.” He continued standing in the doorway. “Go back to bed or something,” Demelza said. “I’m sure you need your rest.” Her inner voice was reminding her to make eye contact with him because her eyes kept being drawn down to the ample supply of black chest-hair between the slightly open lapel of his robe. “Is it ok if I just sit here?” he asked taking a stool at the center island. “I haven’t talked to anyone all day. I could keep you company while you worked.” She began arranging her cutting boards and cutlery when much to his surprise she said, “You might as well. I’m sure a ton of rules have already been broken today. What’s one more?!” and he flashed her that same incredible smile that he had given her at the market.

They talked the entire time she made steak fajitas, chicken parmigiana, a veggie lasagna with zucchini noodles, a risotto that she had to stir the entire time, and figure-friendly turkey meatballs with her famous marinara sauce. He asked her about her childhood and she told him about growing up in Ohio. He talked about acting school and how he got his start in the theater. Demelza found it so easy to talk to him and even told him how her mom had died when she was 8. She lightened the mood by saying, "Tell me about Ireland," and glanced up at him while chopping peppers as he told her about his "flat" and how close it was to Dublin. She could tell he was starting to look really tired, and, she hated to admit it, but she was almost done. They had been in the kitchen for upwards of two hours. “Have you eaten anything today?” she asked. “Oh no! I couldn’t,” he said shaking his head, “My gut’s been feeling a little dodgy.” “Look,” she said going through the bags of food she brought over, “I’ve got some spare carrots and celery, a can of chicken and some chicken stock…Why don’t I make you a chicken soup? It’s not going to be gourmet nor would it take very long but it’s just the thing you should have if you’re under the weather. I can put it in the fridge and you can eat it when you're feeling better. Does that sound ok?” “Actually,” he said, “I am starting to get a bit hungry. If you make it now, I think I could eat it while it was still hot.” They resumed their chatting while she prepared the same soup her father would always make for her when she was sick. No recipe necessary, she knew this like the back of her hand. “Egg noodles or not?” she asked him. He looked quizzically at her. “Noodles in your soup? Yes or no?” she said holding up the bag to show him. He finally registered what she was asking, “Oh! You mean PASSta! Yes, please.” She spun back around to conceal the large grin her face was wearing in reaction to the adorable way he had pronounced pasta. His accent made her downright giddy. He could read the phone book and it would make her smile.

In no time at all the soup was ready and Demelza ladled it into a bowl and set it in front of him. She opened the cabinet to retrieve the saltine crackers and then to the fridge to crack him open a can of lemon/lime soda. “You really know my kitchen well,” he said giving her a chuckle that made her smile. “Well, I’ve been here for over a month. I probably know where things are better than you do. You’re going to have to call me in the middle of the night just to find the sugar,” she joked and then immediately was sorry she had become so personal. “Great, Demelza,” she thought as she scolded herself, “you’ve really crossed the line now.”

His face became serious and she worried her suspicions were confirmed. But, he placed his hand on top of hers on the marble countertop of the island, “Demelza, it was so nice of you to take care of me today. Please sit down and have a bowl with me,” and motioned to the stool beside him. She shook her head. “I’d better get going,” and began gathering up all her bags. “Can I call you sometime? Maybe we could go out for coffee?,” he asked between slurps of his soup. “You know the answer to that,” she said sternly, realizing they were entering shaky ground with Agency rules. “You weren’t even supposed to be here today,” she reminded him. “Well, then I’m just going to leave you notes on the island, and see if anyone can stop me!” he announced with defiance. As she walked out his door and to her car she thought, “and I wouldn’t want to see anyone try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried really hard to think of a good reason why a GOURMET chef would have a CAN of chicken amongst her groceries. I came up with nothing. It is necessary for the simple and quick soup she made for him. Also this was a recipe from her childhood and she was from very humble backgrounds. Forgive me for this inconsistency. It's fiction...
> 
> It's a short chapter, but if you stick around for more, I guarantee we are working our way up to the mature rating I gave this...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun, Food, and a Furry Irishman!

7 am. Demelza’s alarm was going off. It was cooking day although she had come to think of it as Ross Day. Demelza laid there thinking about the last time she was there, and the way he put his hand on hers and looked her in the eyes with such emotion. She tried to find the words to describe the expression he gave her. She would call it tenderness, but also, she thought some more and came up with, longing. She wouldn’t say she had constant bad luck in her life, but it seemed that opportunities for poor decisions always seemed to find her. She couldn’t help reflecting how grateful she was for this job. In fact, some of her friends who had graduated with her were still unemployed and looking. But there was something about Ross, something that made her feel she had known him a lot longer than she had. This was why the Agency probably had rules, she thought. “He just touched your hand, Demelza,” she convinced herself, “big deal.” She laid there giving herself a pep-talk about professionalism. When she felt ready to face the day, she reached for her phone to check her notifications and saw it: a text message. The text was from a number she didn’t recognize but the message said:

Hi Demelza! It’s Ross. I found your employee folder and your number was inside. I   
hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I just wanted to tell you I’m feeling better and   
how great that soup was. Also, I love the gourmet things you’re making but was   
wondering if you could make meals more like what you grew up on like the soup? I   
believe they call it “comfort food?" I'm looking forward to trying new things. :)

The fact that he used a smiley face was adorable. If he wanted comfort food, he was going to get comfort food.

She skipped Whole Foods and went to Gelson’s Market. There she bought supplies for meatloaf and mashed potatoes, chicken and noodles, and apple pie. She stumbled up his sidewalk with her bags, digging in her purse for the key the Agency provided her when to her surprise he opened the door. She nearly threw her bags into the air. “Good god, Ross! Give a girl a warning before you scare her half to death!” she said as she gathered the stray potatoes that escaped. “What are you doing here?” “Believe it or not,” he said while also bending down for potatoes, “I live here.” The look of annoyance she gave him made him burst out laughing. “I’m going to help you cook today,” he said as her expression changed to one of disbelief. “Yes! I can cook!” he reassured her, “you’ve just been retained because I lack the time and perhaps the motivation to do so. What are we making first?” he asked as he rubbed his hands together. “Meatloaf, which you will eat today, chicken and noodles, which we will store in containers for you to eat later, and then a pie, which you can eat whenever you want” she said, unpacking her bags and laying items on the island. “Meatloaf?” he said with a look of disdain. “Trust me,” she said reassuringly, “it tastes better than it sounds.”

She got him set up chopping the onion while she soaked the bread with milk, added the egg, and the salt and pepper. “This,” she said holding up a bottle, “is the secret ingredient. Worchestershire sauce.” She looked up at him, seeing the tears in his eyes. “Are you already overwhelmed?” she teased. “I’M CHOPPING AN ONION, DEM!” he shouted playfully at her, and drew up the hem of his t-shirt to wipe his eyes, briefly flashing his spectacular abs her friends had shown her from google. Instant butterflies in her stomach. Also, had he just made his own nickname for her? God, she was in over her head.

She added his chopped onion, and ground beef to her bread mixture and then explained to him the best way to incorporate all the ingredients was to mix them with your hands. That’s how her dad had showed her when she was younger. “Let me try,” he said and went back to the sink to wash his hands first. He was smushing everything together when he said, “I bet I should have my hair back when I’m cooking. I notice you always pull yours up and away from your face. Can I borrow that?” and motioned to the elastic band that was on her wrist. “Oh,” she said surprised, “Uhh…sure,” and removed the band handing it to him. “Do you mind?” he asked, not taking it from her, “my hands are kind of messy right now.” Was he really asking her to pull his hair back? Demelza wasn’t sure she was prepared for this. Her breath hitched as she took her place behind him. He was slightly taller than she was, but he bent at his knees to make the task easier for her. She was able to gather all of his black, unruly curls into a small ponytail, or the man-bun she’d grown to love about him. Putting a hand behind each ear, she slowly smoothed his hair over the top of his head until she could secure it with the elastic. He smelled amazing. Some of the curls, especially above the nape of his neck, had escaped. “Too tight?” she asked, getting the elastic around a third time. “Nope. Just perfect,” he said and shot her his signature grin. Demelza thought just by looking at his hair that it would be coarse and wiry, but after touching it she had found it to be very soft and silky. Running her fingers through his locks had left her feeling heady. “Do I put this in a pan now?” he asked. “Yes,” as she came back to reality, glad for the normalcy of finishing the task. 

Knowing the meatloaf would not take that long to bake, she put in the fridge for later and they moved on to the chicken and noodles. “Do you have a crock-pot? she asked, opening and shutting cabinets. “A what?” he asked unsure. “A slow cooker,” she said, hoping the other name would register with him what it was. He began opening his appliance pantry, the same one Demelza had found on her first day. “What am I looking for?” he asked from inside the pantry. “A kind of oval dish and lid combination that you plug into an outlet,” she shouted from the island. “Ummmmm,” was his response, still rifling through everything and then shutting the door. “That’s ok,” Demelza said, “we can go buy one. There’s a Target nearby.

“I’ll drive,” Ross said, and grabbed his keys from the bowl by the door. They went out the door that led to his garage and Demelza was instantly smacked in the face by the sight of his black Range Rover. Not bad for a guy who got paid to ride a horse all day, she thought.

He started the car and instantly The Doors was blaring from his CD player. “Sorry!” he said, quickly reaching for the volume and turning it down. “I have a thing for classic rock." They backed out of the driveway and were on their way when he asked, “What kind of music do you like? I’ve heard you listening to Ryan Adams and some sort of rap music while you cooked.” She immediately punched him in the arm. “OW!” he shrieked, “why did you do that?” “You said you were only in the house ONCE while I was cooking and that’s the day you were sick!” she said raising her voice, “YOU ARE DESCRIBING TWO DIFFERENT DAYS!” “Ok, OK! Stay calm!” he reassured her, but it came out like “Stay caaaaaam,” with his beautiful accent. "I was home twice, and once was when I was sick. The other time was when filming was canceled due to weather. And I was really quiet," he winked in her direction. She never got a chance to tell him the rap music was Outkast.

They parked at Target and both started undoing their seatbelts and opening their doors. “Whoa, whoa, WHOA!” Demelza shrieked, “you can’t go in with me. What if somebody sees us? Stay here!" she ordered, and then softly said, “please.” He nodded and shut his door. In a matter of minutes she was carrying the box and her receipt through the parking lot and to his car. On the way home, he put his hand on top of hers that was resting on her thigh. She looked down at their hands together and then over at him. He kept his eyes on the road. She didn’t move a muscle.

When they got back to his house, they assembled the chicken and noodles in the new crock-pot and made mashed potatoes out of the potatoes that were all over his sidewalk that morning. Then they put the meatloaf in the oven to bake while she showed him how to make perfect pie crust in the food processor. She told him how to pulse the butter, flour, and sugar until the butter was the size of peas, and then watched as he added the ice water down the spout and the dough spun around into a ball. While Demelza rolled the dough out with a rolling pin, she had Ross peel and cut the apples. The apples were then sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar before being added to the bottom crust. Demelza dotted the top of the apples with little pats of butter before the top crust was added, slits being cut in the middle of the crust to let the steam escape. Ross joked that she was putting his gym membership to good use, noting that soon his horse would not be keen on being in scenes with him. 

No need to look at the timer, Demelza’s nose told her the meatloaf was done. He put two plates on the table adjacent to the center island and also lit two candles adding them to the center of the table. “What are you doing? Demelza asked. “Certainly you’re not going to make me eat this alone," he said looking wounded. “Anyways,” he added, “this is our first date.” “Date?” she said nervously, “I don’t think so.” “Well, the candles on the table say otherwise.” God he was good, she thought. 

They loaded up their plates and sat down. It was a delightful meal. The conversation never stopped. Ross had even found a bottle of wine, and not trusting herself around this charming Irishman, Demelza made sure she only had one glass. They finished with the apple pie, Demelza ingeniously bringing ice cream from his freezer for a la mode. When the meal was over and they had sat there sipping their after-dinner coffee, Demelza began picking up the dishes and bringing them over to the sink. Ross also grabbed some dishes but laid them on the counter beside her. He came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. He nuzzled her neck and kissed her behind her ear. His breathing made the stray tendrils of her ponytail blow around and the hair on her neck stand up. He spun her around and looked deep into her eyes. She had never stood this close to him before and could now see the gold flecks in his beautiful, brown eyes. Before she knew it, his lips were on hers, giving her a soft yet intense kiss. She used her hands to push herself away from him by his shoulders in protest. She stood before him, searching his face as she knit her brows with worry and concern. There were rules. “Hell with it,” she thought and boldly wrapped her arms around his neck. They were kissing again. Moving the plates over, she hopped onto the counter behind her so she was sitting on the edge, feet dangling. He stood between her open legs, their kisses intensifying. His tongue brushed against her teeth and she opened her mouth to grant him access. Her hands traveled up his neck to the elastic band she had put in his hair and released his curls. He broke their kiss to plant tiny, butterfly kisses down her neck, his beard stubble tickling her soft skin. He came back to her lips then gently pressed their foreheads together and whispered, “Demelza, I’m too full to take this any further!” This was enough to make them both burst into laughter, instantly killing the mood. “You and me both!” Demelza giggled as she jumped down to continue washing up the dishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Genie60 for my favorite sentence ever, and as you can see, I used it to describe this chapter.
> 
> I was in way over my head with all this gourmet cooking, so I had Ross redirect things to meals I'm more comfortable with. These are actual family recipes that I have been cooking for years. Also, there's nothing better than cooking in the kitchen with someone. It was easy for me to write about tasks being delegated to Ross as I have had my husband and niece and nephew help me in similar ways.
> 
> Great, now everyone knows the secret ingredient to my meatloaf...
> 
> I live in a town that doesn't have a Target. The closest one is an HOUR away. So of course Ross and Demelza are going to go to Target.
> 
> The part where Demelza pushes herself away from Ross's with her hands is DIRECTLY inspired by my favorite movie, Moonstruck. Do you know the part when Cher breaks away from Nicholas Cage's kiss saying, "Wait a minute, wait a minute!" only to kiss him back even harder? That was the inspiration for the "hell with it" part.
> 
> There's more chapters if you can stick with me...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Irishman prepares a meal for Demelza...

Nothing changed after Ross and Demelza shared a kiss, and yet everything changed. Demelza still went over once and week and cooked him meals. His filming schedule had actually picked up, not affording him any opportunities to be at home to keep her company since their shared moment. Demelza was glad for the solitude, as she knew she would get nothing accomplished having him there. He was a distraction, to put it mildly. But yet everything changed in that they no longer kept their relationship a secret. Their first “public date” was to a coffee shop, where they sipped their lattes, Ross holding her hand across the table while they chatted about everything. At one point they got to laughing so loudly, the other customers turned and stared. Ross had a really loud and infectious laugh, much like a bellow. So much for keeping their relationship a secret.

They also went out for dinners where they would put on their best attire and he would pull her chair out before she sat. They saw movies together in the theater, sharing pop-corn and watching while Demelza laid her head on his broad shoulder, sometimes stealing kisses if they thought no one was looking. They went to amusements parks where they rode rollercoasters and walked around eating from a mutual cotton candy bag. He could not let the sun set on the day without calling her each evening to wish her a good night. She began packing him little treats that he would take to filming with him and eat during his breaks, as he smiled and chuckled to the wonderment of others when he would find she had tucked in a note. It was the best three months of their lives.

Ross even invited Demelza to the set with him. She got the VIP treatment and was allowed back to a room with several monitors to watch the filming as it was happening. It was so weird to know that was her Ross riding around on the horse. Demelza’s cheeks blushed quickly as Ross took her around to directors and actors for introductions. She wondered how he would describe her to others, but was relieved when she saw the pride in his face as he told them this was his “girlfriend Demelza.”

It was after an evening of Ross complaining about yet another caterer not showing up to the set when he asked Demelza if she ever thought of cooking for a large group, like for the cast and crew of his program. “Maybe that’s something you could do after you get fired from this job,” he said tenderly kissing her lips, “because you know you’re getting fired,” he whispered into her ear as he nibbled it. She swatted him on the arm and giggled. Actually, Demelza was ready to take her culinary degree down to the local fast-food restaurant to flip burgers if it came down to choosing between him and her job. They both died laughing when Demelza said catering was “food for thought.”

With Ross’s help, they planned out a small menu for his set; nothing extravagant or fancy. They decided on mini pork-sliders for the actors that were hungry but still had a lot of action and scenes to get through, rich macaroni and cheese for those that were hungry and had a lot of down time, and Demelza’s famous Scotcharoos which were essentially a peanut butter / butterscotch rice krispies bar with melted chocolate on top, a perfect grab-and-go snack. One of Demelza’s CIA graduate friends had landed a job catering and drove Demelza to the set in the catering van, helping her set up a tent and tables with chafing pans to keep the food warm. Demelza watched as one by one the actors came up to the tent, mingling and helping themselves while complementing her on how good everything was. Many told her that she was welcome to come back anytime. They ate everything Demelza brought. She looked over at Ross who was beaming. Coming over to her in his period-drama costume and pointy hat, he put his arm around her, kissing her temple and saying, “You could do this. When I get famous enough to ask for my water to be a certain temperature, you will be my personal caterer. Anyone hiring me will know we’re a package deal.”

A week later, at 6am Demelza was laying in bed, knowing that in an hour she would be getting up to go cook for Ross. Flipping over to get comfy, she was startled to hear her phone ring. She knew it was Ross as she had shamefully created a special ring-tone for him a lot longer ago than she should have. He had never called her this early before. Feeling a bit nervous she picked up the phone, “Hi Ross. What’s up?” she said with concern in her voice. “Good morning, Dem. I’m sorry to call so early. This was my only chance before I left for the set.” She noticed his voice was extra baritone this morning, probably because she was the first person he had talked to today. Tingles went down her spine as she realized she was hearing his “morning voice.” “What’s up?” she asked again, still unsure of the reason for his call. “I just wanted to let you know you won’t be cooking for me today.” He barely got his words out when she hurriedly asked, “Why? Have I finally been fired? Did they call you this morning?” “No, no, no,” he chuckled reassuringly, “It’s nothing like that. I’m going to cook for YOU tonight. I want to make you something traditionally Irish, so I’ve decided on a beer-braised Irish stew with colcannon.” Demelza had studied all sorts of cuisines at the CIA and knew right away that colcannon was potatoes with heavy cream, kale, scallions and lots of butter. She thought right away that all of this was a big undertaking for him, but he did say he could cook, she reminded herself. “Can I pick up the ingredients for you while you’re filming today?” she asked. “Nope,” she could tell he was smiling, “I’ve already got everything here at the house. Can you be here at 7?” he asked. “Perfect. Can I bring anything?” she asked finally sitting up in bed, looking around for a paper and something to write with if he gave her a list. “A red cabernet would pair well with the stew if you want to,” was his reply. “Done, I’ll see you at 7,” and she put her list paper down as she trusted herself to remember the wine. “I’m looking forward to it,” was his reply and Demelza could hear the dimple in his right cheek.

At 6:58, Demelza was walking up his sidewalk, wine in hand. She had decided on wearing skinny jeans, a nice blouse, and cute flats. Nothing too fancy but also not yoga pants and a tee. She was blessed with the kind of beauty that didn’t need makeup to look flawless, however she decided on a bit of mascara and lipstick. She didn’t want to appear she was trying too hard. When she stepped onto the porch, even with the door still closed, the savory aroma of the stew tempted her nose. Maybe he could cook, she giggled to herself. She was just about to ring the doorbell when he swung the door open. There stood her Ross, in a basic black T and jeans, grinning from ear to ear. “Dem, Hi,” he said giving her a kiss on the forehead and taking the wine from her. “You look beautiful! Come in. Everything’s just about ready!” He took her by the hand and led her inside. He set the wine on the island as she was setting her purse down. She came over to the stove where he had resumed frantically stirring and checking the ovens. “What can I do to help?” she asked as she removed the lid to the pot that contained the colcannon. She shrieked in surprise at what she saw, “You put cabbage in here with the kale! You’re keeping things very traditional!” “News flash, Demelza: I am Irish, and if there’s another way to make it,” he joked, “then I’m not familiar with it. Go. Sit. I got this. If you’re looking for something to do, then pour the wine. The wine glasses are…” She cut him off, “I know where they are,” opening the proper cabinet and bringing two stemmed glasses to the island. Ross laughed, “Of course you do!” Demelza took a seat at the island and began pouring the wine, sliding a glass at Ross, “What beer did you use to braise the stew?” she asked. “I am Irish…” he reminded her again as she rolled her eyes and swatted his arm. She knew the answer was Guinness. Ross donned his oven mitts and took the stew out, placing it on a trivet on the island. Taking the foil off, Demelza jumped up to inspect it with him. “Wow! Bravo!" she said approvingly. “Did you doubt me?” he said playfully but somewhat wounded. They sat back down, sipping a bit more of the wine while they let the stew rest before cutting into the brisket. Once their plates had goodly portions of both meat and potatoes, Demelza took her plate over to the table. It was bare; no napkins, no forks, not even a candle in the center. Ross saw her and said, “Oh we’re not eating there.” “Where are we eating?” she asked confused. “Follow me,” he told her with a twinkle in his eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to acknowledge the help my sister gave me for this chapter. I know nothing about Irish cuisine or stews and was just going off of what I found on google. My sister knows a lot about beer and wine as she works in a winery. I double checked with her that the stew would indeed be braised with Guinness, and she told me about "porter" beer and how any would be appropriate for this. I also told her how google had said a red cabernet would pair with this meal - because Ross and Demelza were not going to pair their meal with more beer - and she assured me that this was right. She is our family's sommelier! Thanks for your help!
> 
> And thanks to all who are reading this story and leaving comments! There's so much more on it's way...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The furry Irishman and Demelza share a meal together and perhaps more...

Ross led them to an outdoor patio, to a beautiful table. There were flowers in the middle and Ross had lit little votive candles in glass jars to illuminate their meal. There were paper lanterns decoratively hung on his fence to add even more romance to an already perfect dinner. The whole time Demelza had been cooking for him, she had never known this spectacular outdoor area existed. She gasped and looked around to take it all in.

Ross pulled her chair out and took his place across from her. The food was amazing, and Demelza did not hold back in telling him so. He shyly blushed at her compliments. They sat outside laughing and talking for most of the evening. Ross never knew about her brief stint as a Starbucks barista and she even began her most favorite conversation: the difference between a cappuccino and a latte. She was very passionate about this subject and could go on about it forever if not careful. She kept checking Ross’s face for any hints of boredom, and if he was, he didn’t show it.

It was beginning to get dark outside so they got up to stretch their legs and Ross took her by the hand to show her around the yard. Next to the patio was a beautiful koi pond. Demelza shrieked when she saw the vibrant, orange fish swimming around. “I know nothing about fish,” Ross laughed. “The previous owners left a container of fish food in the garage when I moved in. I read the directions on the box and throw in handfuls each day. So far so good,” he beamed. Then he walked them over to a flower garden. He explained to her, “I assume these are perennials because they just came up by themselves this spring. All I do is come out here and pull the weeds.” Demelza looked at him and giggled, “And here I thought you had a green thumb!” They were looking up at the stars that were just beginning to appear on this beautiful, clear night when Ross decided to sit on a backless stone bench near the flower bed. He put his legs on each side, inviting Demelza to sit and lean her back against his chest as they gazed up into the sky together. She rested her head where his shoulder meets his neck and he wrapped his arms around her. Her mane of beautiful, red curls was inches from his face, and he took the opportunity to bury his nose in her tresses, breathing in her scent. Demelza and he had not embarked on an intimate relationship yet, and he was glad for taking things slowly, as he wanted to be sure it was her choice to when she was ready. But on this clear night, with her hair in his face and her body against him, he was no match to stop the reaction his body was having, and he knew as she leaned against him she would soon notice. He inched back from her slightly, trying to not throw this carefree evening into a whole different direction, when she turned around and looked at him.

Even though it was dark out, Ross could see her eyes were heavy and lidded. She turned all the way around on the bench to face him. She leaned in and kissed him, a soft and gentle kiss that turned into a tangling of tongues. Ross’s hands were on a journey as he kissed her: first tenderly holding her face, then her shoulders, sliding down her arms to her elbows, when finally they cupped her breasts. She reciprocated by putting her hands on his broad chest, feeling his beautiful pectoral muscles below the fabric of his shirt. She couldn’t resist joking with him and broke their kiss to say, “Your pecs are even more spectacular than in your picture.” Ross knew immediately what she was talking about and was aghast that she had seen it. He hung his head down, almost in shame, shaking it from side to side as he asked, “You know about it?” She laughed, “It’s the first thing that pops up when somebody googles you.” His cheeks reddened and he was visibly embarrassed. “I don’t understand what the big deal is,” he humbly offered. “I do now,” Demelza said as she slid her hands under his tee this time, sliding up past his taught stomach muscles and onto his beautiful thatch of chest hair that often peeked out at her from his collars. She really didn’t know where she was getting this boldness. Feeling the coolness of her hands on the bare skin of his chest was the breaking point for Ross. He planted kisses on the side of her neck while he said, “Demelza, I’ve got more rooms in my house besides a kitchen.” Demelza looked up and saw his eyes were as black as the evening sky above them. He rose from the bench, extending his hand. She also stood and took his hand, allowing him to lead her into the house.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister has a beautiful koi pond in her yard. She has a rock mass with a waterfall and floating on the water are all sorts of lily pads and plants that are flowering. Swimming beneath the plants are these beautiful, and vibrant orange fish that are actually Japanese carp, as they are a little lower maintenance than fancy Koi. When she goes on vacation, I literally just go over daily and throw in handfuls of fish food until she returns. She has a beautiful bench to sit on, and the whole time you are there you can hear the soft and tranquil sounds of the waterfall. 
> 
> For the last 7 years, along with my career, I have had a part-time job at Starbucks. It's a great job, and I really enjoy making the drinks as well as talking about coffee. It was a no brainer for me that Demelza was an ex-barista.
> 
> After I had watched the very first episode of Poldark 3 years ago, I had no idea who the actor was playing Ross. I googled him and the scything pic was the first thing to pop up on my screen. We all know how a certain person hates to speak about this pic. I really wanted to explore how this "Ross" would feel about that same picture when brought up.
> 
> I HAD to end this chapter here because what's coming up will be a BIG DEAL. I'm actually a bit nervous tbh...


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clearly Agency rules have been blatantly broken...

He led her by the hand through his kitchen and through a door Demelza had never used, leading to a staircase. The mood was palpable. However, Ross couldn’t help his humorous side and picked Demelza up, throwing her over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. “ROSS!” she squealed as he ran her up a flight of stairs. He set her down to stand in front of his bed. They began kissing again, first soft and tender but then becoming increasingly urgent. Soon hands began to undress each other. Demelza had often tried to stop herself from speculating what he might look like undressed, but even her imaginings did not do justice to what stood before her. Ross gasped at the sight of her flawless, alabaster skin, as beautiful as porcelain, his hands exploring every inch of her body, her ivory skin coming to life with each touch.

Ross lowered them both to the bed. His hands knew exactly where to go and his body knew exactly what to do. Demelza began to worry how many women there were before her because he clearly was no novice. Her past experiences were never satisfying and could be considered nothing more than awkward fumblings. It wasn’t just that he was skilled, but he was intuitive in that he seemed to sense exactly what she wanted and needed. As her breasts began to ache to be touched, soon he would latch on with his hands and mouth. When her womanhood pulsed for contact, he moved his attentions there as well. When she felt she couldn’t wait a second longer for him, he eased into her slowly. His thrusts were just right to send her over the edge, and just when she thought her body’s spasms were finally waning, here came yet another new and blinding wave of pleasure.

Ross noticed that Demelza was making all the right noises, and the way she was running her fingers through his hair and digging her fingernails into his buttocks to draw him deeper was almost more than he could handle. His goal was to make this night last as long as he could for her, but hearing her call out his name, and feeling her spasms around him made his release hit him hard, and he emptied himself deep inside her. He didn’t think he would ever stop as he grit his teeth, the sensations residing somewhere between pleasure and pain.

He gently rolled off her and laid beside her. Their breathing was labored. Laying behind her on the pillow, he gathered her to him and Demelza felt the sweat of his chest pressing against her back. He wrapped an arm around her, his hand gently cupping her breast and then stroking her stomach. They laid this way for a while before Demelza broke the silence. “Never has it been so…” she trailed off and then giggled, “What WAS that?” “Shhhh,” he smiled with closed eyes and weariness in his voice, “Go to sleep.” She laid there a few more minutes before she heard his breathing get steady and soft. The hand that held her breast was starting to release its gentle grip and fall away from her body. Once she was sure he was asleep, she softly escaped the arm that held her and began walking the room, looking for her garments that were haphazardly thrown. She was bending down to pick up her jeans when he woke and asked, “What are you doing?” “I’m going home, Ross,” she said matter-of-factly while picking up her blouse. All he said at first was, “Stay,” and began smoothing the impression left from where she had been laying. She kept standing. “Demelza,” he said sleepily but imploringly, “stay here with me. All night.” Then he smiled, “In the morning I was hoping to make pancakes for you and have you work your barista magic on my espresso machine.” Honestly, she had made up her mind the first time he said, “stay.” She hung her clothes over the bar of his treadmill and in two steps was back in his bed. Ross draped the same arm once again on her waist and they were asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to mmmuse for helping me finally upload an image on Chapter 6. If you haven't read her works yet, you should seriously head over to her page NOW! Her works are so well done. There isn't one thing she has written that I haven't read.
> 
> My 82 year old mother is reading, so I felt a duty to be romantic but not overly graphic. I hope I achieved that. Forgive me, mom!
> 
> The "She had made her mind up the first time he said stay" comment is again a reference to Jerry Maguire in "You had me at Hello."
> 
> Of course beautiful Ross would have a treadmill in his bedroom,right?!?!?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after...

Demelza woke in the middle of the night. Perhaps she would’ve forgotten where she was had it not been for Ross’s tranquil breathing beside her. Looking over at him, there was just enough light from the moon through the windows to see his face. He looked like an angel when he slept; long eyelashes swept down, his full lips amid his raspy stubble that she had learned felt like sandpaper against the soft skin of her body, and the look of utter repose on his face. Her grandma would describe him as a gypsy if she were still alive. Demelza thought he was beautiful but was also sure she looked a fright. Grabbing her phone, she saw it was just after 3am. Climbing out of the bed ever so carefully so as not to wake him, she tip-toed to the ensuite adjacent to the bedroom. Looking in the mirror, she was right; her red hair was a frizzed nest on top of her head, and the mascara that she rarely wore was smeared under her eyes. She giggled to herself that she looked like Alice Cooper, and with his love of of Classic Rock, Ross would know who that was. Holding her hand in front of her mouth, she breathed out. Yep, her breath was horrible. He would want to kiss her in the morning, or at least she hoped he would.

She quietly began opening drawers and cabinets. She located a comb and gently ran it through her auburn disaster. Rinsing her face in the sink, she cursed herself for choosing water-proof mascara. Opening his medicine cabinet, she wasn’t surprised to find some makeup wipes. He was an actor, after all. She carefully took one out, trying not to crinkle the package too loud, and wiped her eyes. Now to fix her breath. Not finding any mouthwash, she squeezed some of his toothpaste onto her finger and “brushed” her teeth camping-style. She rinsed her mouth in the sink and gave herself the once over. Much better. Let him think she woke up every morning this put together, she thought, and crept silently back to his bed. Resuming the exact way she had been laying, she glanced over at him nervously to see if she had woken him, relieved to see she had not. Little did she know he was laying there as still as he could, amused at the whole thing. He thought she was incredibly adorable for worrying this much about her appearance because no matter what, to him she would always be the most beautiful woman in the world, even if she did look like Alice Cooper in the morning.

7 am. Demelza was awakened by something that she finally realized was lips on her bare shoulder, giving her tiny nips and kisses. She turned over to meet his lips. “Good morning,” Ross said sleepily against her mouth. They kissed with their eyes still closed, not quite awake yet. As wonderful as last night was, she knew she should get home. To be honest, she was feeling a bit of panic. After her mom’s death, she always made it a habit not to surrender her entire heart to anyone and she knew if she stayed one more minute with this man, that final piece would belong to him also. She was the first to break their kisses to speak, “Ross, thank you for such a beautiful night but I’m afraid I have to go.” He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed, but she was absolutely right. Filming was not as early today as usual, but he did have a busy day ahead of him. Their resolve was strong to get up and get ready to face their day, but whatever will-power they had crumbled when she joined him in the shower. She had mentioned something about conserving water, and quite frankly he wasn’t listening when the water began sluicing over them both…

Ross went down to the kitchen first while Demelza towel-dried her hair. He had offered her a hair dryer, and it was no surprise to her that he had an arsenal of hair products with his beautiful mane, but she preferred to let it air-dry. When she got down to the kitchen, Ross had already started the pancake batter. He looked up as she walked in, “Good morning, beautiful,” he said with his morning, baritone voice. To his surprise, she smiled while looking down, her cheeks coloring. He wasn’t quite sure, but something was different about her; a certain shyness; her confidence turned into that of a blushing schoolgirl. To Demelza, so much had changed since the last time they were in this kitchen together.

She was glad to see the espresso machine and a container of milk were already on the kitchen island, giving her something to do besides stand with flushed cheeks. And this was a commercial grade machine too, not much different than the one she had used at Starbucks. He saw her eyeing the machine and laughed, “I didn’t buy it. Again, it was here in the house when I moved in. I’ve never used it. It’s a good one, right?” “Uh…YEAH!” she said with wide eyes as she began steaming milk and pulling espresso shots. She made him a latte and a cappuccino, and after tasting both he determined the cappuccino was his favorite. “And here I’ve been ordering lattes all this time,” he said shaking his head. She made him a third drink which after sipping offered that it was his favorite by far. “What is it?” he asked. She told him it was a macchiato.

Ross, of course couldn’t make her regular pancakes. He carefully poured the batter into shapes of Mickey Mouse heads, hearts and her initials. He tried to make one that looked like him riding his horse from the set, but it ended up looking exactly like a tyrannosaurus rex. They laughed until almost crying at the sight of the misshapen pancake and then fought over who would get to eat it.

She gathered her purse and he kissed her while one of her hands was on the doorknob. She HAD to go. But once she opened the door, she was sorry she did, as the sight staring back at her was something she had never thought about; her car was parked in front of his house. On the street. All night. How could she not have thought about that, she chided herself. “Ross, my car…” she said turning back to him with fear in her eyes. Her hair was still wet and she was in yesterday’s clothes. “Why didn’t you tell me to move it? Certainly you…” Her words hit him hard. “What? Do this all the time? Is that what you were about to say?” he asked. “You’re just one more in the revolving door of women? Is that what you think?” She couldn’t find the words because honestly that’s exactly what she was thinking. “No one recognizes me here in the States,” he explained, “but yes, I do enjoy a bit of celebrity treatment overseas. Many women do approach me in public and ask for their pictures taken with me, but that’s about it. And anyways, most of my fans are older women in their 40’s to 60’s,” he shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t understand. Getting serious, he shut the door, and taking her hand to bring it to his lips to kiss, he said, “If you must know, I can count on one hand how many women there’ve been, and that includes you. Last night was very special to me, and rare. What many don’t know is that this life can be sometimes…” he trailed off, “…lonely,” and released her hand. She softened and reached up to cup his cheek, “Oh, Ross, I’ve been lonely too.” He kissed her again but quickly, then smacking her on the ass saying, “Now go. Just walk to that car like it’s nothing out of the ordinary and we will deal with the consequences later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been 10 years that my dear grandmother has left us. She was born in Siberia and brought a lot of personality and culture to our lives. She at one time described my husband, also dark haired and brown eyed, as a gypsy. I miss you so much, Baba!
> 
> The scene where Demelza gets up to fix her appearance is directly inspired by a similar scene in What's Your Number with Anna Faris and Chris Evans. In the scene, because she's at her own house, she gets up and brushes her hair, applies mascara, separates her lashes with a comb, applies lipgloss, and brushes her teeth. Her boyfriend comments how good she always looks in the morning, and she acts surprised and says, "Really?"
> 
> I had to throw in something Starbucks! It's been a year since I've worked there and I really miss it. And, if anybody can relate, it's such a pain to make macchiatos! You have to put the espresso in LAST, meaning you have to have just the right amount of steamed milk already in the cup. Too much and the espresso makes it overflow, too little and the drink is too light. Aggravating!
> 
> The biggest struggle I had with this chapter was hinting with the number of women Ross had been with. Of course he wasn't going to come out and say it. On the show, we know of 3: Margaret, Demelza, and Elizabeth. We don't know about his teenage years before the Army, and we don't know about when he was in the Army, but we are sure about 3. I googled what the number is for an average male and got 9.3 during their lifetime. Not sure I understand the .3. Ross is in his early thirties and I wrote him to be the kind that would have more meaningful relationships that last many years, rather than shorter and more frequent relationships. One version I wrote had him saying, "I don't need all 10 fingers to count how many..." and then this version I finally decided on. Thank you to mymusingsfromtheheart for helping me decide! I'm thinking Demelza would be this Ross's 5th.
> 
> Now that I know how to include images, I posted a pic of what I thought Ross's chef-grade kitchen looked like.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross and Demelza have an important conversation

Another 3 months of bliss. They were inseparable. They had actually started to feel disappointed that Demelza had not been fired because they had completely thrown the rules in the trash. They had been together six months now, nine if you counted the three that Demelza cooked for him before the day he stayed home sick from filming, which is the event they both looked on as the start of their relationship. 

It was after a night of making love that Ross held her close to him as he drifted off to sleep. She began to cry. She knew the worst possible thing anyone could do after sex was burst into tears, and she quickly got up and went into the bathroom. Shutting the door, she sat on the edge of his bathtub and had a good, but quiet cry. At first she didn’t even know why she was upset, and then it dawned on her. She had surrendered that last piece of her heart. She loved him. It was a done deal. She hadn’t allowed herself to feel this way about anyone after the heartbreak of her mom’s death, and somehow this man had scaled that wall. She literally wanted to go home, to run as fast as she could. And then she heard the knock on the door.

He had not heard her tears but was awakened by her getting up for the bathroom. He must have drifted off because when he woke again and saw the bathroom door still closed, he thought she had been in there for about twenty minutes. Something was wrong. He knocked and said softly through the door, “Everything ok in there?” She froze. If life had taught her one thing, it was how to pretend everything was ok when she was really falling apart. She cleared her throat to expel the sound of tears and with her best voice said, “Everything’s fine. I’m just not feeling the best. I think I’m going to go home.” “Home?” he sounded surprised. “Are you too sick to drive? Do you need me to take you?” This was making her cry again. “No,” she said with a really shaky voice, “I think I’m…” He interrupted her, “Are you crying, Demelza?” Silence from the other side of the door. “Let me come in. Let me see you. What’s going on?” he implored. “I’m fine, Ross. I just really want to go home,” she said sobbing. “Have I upset you? Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry if I did.” He was quiet for a minute and then it occurred to him, “My god, Demelza, I didn’t hurt you when we were…Did I get too rough?” She could hear the worry in his voice. She was losing control of the situation. “No, of course not Ross. I’m fine. Just a little stomach upset and I think it best if I go home.” “Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he offered. "I just want to see you, to see if you’re ok.” She said nothing. “I know this because I live here, but the door lock doesn’t work. I can twist it open now.” “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” she shouted. “Darling, I’m going to have to see you when you put your clothes on and leave. You can’t go out there naked. And it’s the middle of the night, I want to make sure you get to your car safely. I’m going to have to see you sometime tonight. Why not now?” “Ok,” she said defeated. She heard the “locked” doorknob slowly turn. She could only see the top of his head, his forehead, and his eyes, like he was trying to take the smallest glance possible to make her feel better.

When he finally found her sitting on the tub, he saw her tear stained face and came slowly in. “Awwww, Demelza…” he sounded soothing as he took a spot next to her on the tub. “What’s really going on?” She covered her face to sob and he leaned her against his chest, smoothing circles on her back as he rested his chin on the top of her head. “I’m scared, Ross.” “Of what?” he asked still holding her. She pulled away from him to wipe her eyes and say, “I think I’ve let you have my entire heart. I’ve been trying so hard to hold back this whole time. I never let anyone get this close…” She looked up at him. He nodded his head with concern before he broke out into a wide smile. “So am I understanding you that you’re upset because you love me? And the problem is…?” He was beginning to chuckle. 

She hit him on the arm, “This is serious, Ross!” “Two quesions,” he started out, “One: How are you sitting on this tub? Seriously, I am so uncomfortable!” This was making her giggle. “Can’t we sit on, say, the bed and talk? No?” he said when he saw she was shaking her head with the answer. “Ok, I guess we’ll have this conversation here,” and he tried to sit a bit differently. “Two: why does this scare you?” He looked at her face for answers. She offered nothing. “Do you not think I love you?” “You’ve never said it, and that’s ok, Ross. I can’t ask you to say what you might not feel.” “Demelza, the reason why I’ve never said it, is because I knew way earlier than was appropriate to say. It was too soon, and I knew I would scare you off.” She was surprised to hear this. “When did you know?” she asked him. “When you made me that soup. It was right away and way too soon. How long had we known each other? But I knew I loved you. I’ve just been waiting for what other people would deem the right amount of time for it to be said,” he confessed. They sat in silence for a few seconds until Ross shifted again, “Seriously, Demelza, my balls on the edge of this tub!” She was laughing now. “Look in front of us,” he said pointing, “a comfy bed where we can sit and talk, just two steps away!” “Alright…” she said with a sigh and got up.

He followed her and took his place next to her on the edge of the bed. “Ross…something else scares me.” “Let me have it,” he said ready. “Why me?” was her question. “I’m not following…” was his answer. She began again, “You’re Ross Poldark. Newsflash, I’m sure you can have any woman you want. Why me?” “Demelza…really?” He shook his head in disbelief at what he was hearing. “Do you not know that you’ve got it all? Looks, smarts, the kindest heart I’ve ever known in anyone, a sense of humor…sometimes I wonder why you even give ME the time of day. I will say that I won’t have any acting gigs in the future if you keep cooking for me the way you do. I’ll end up playing someone’s dad, or a bloated corpse washed up on the beach. There’s not enough hours in the day to run off all these calories!” She hit him again on the arm. “Feel better now?” he asked glancing over at her while she nodded her head yes. “Still want to go home?” and saw her shake her head no. “Anything else we should talk about?” She knew there was something HUGE she still had to tell him but no doubt it would upset him very much and she wasn’t ready for that. Not after they had worked all of this out tonight. She just wanted to enjoy this moment of knowing that he loved her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote every chapter way back in June, but this was a thought that came to me a few days ago and I sat down to write this chapter tonight. This is the first time I didn't read a chapter to anyone for reassurance that it was good enough to post. I'm about to find out if that was a good idea or not...


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are about to be bumps in the road...

When Demelza got home the next day, she sat on her bed, overwhelmed by everything that just happened. He loved her, he had said so, and he knew it way before she realized she loved him. As happy as she was, somehow she wasn’t as overjoyed as she should be. She couldn’t help thinking she had had the perfect opportunity to tell him everything that was on her mind. It had been the perfect time, the PERFECT time, and she had stayed silent. She sat on her bed, shaking her head back and forth out of disbelief. She was an IDIOT.

She really could’ve continued her self-loathing all day, but she vowed to start what she would call “Operation Tell Ross.” Each night she put it in her “To Do” list for the next day, and the following evening she found herself writing it again for the following day. Each morning she woke up saying that today was indeed the day, and each night she went to bed knowing she had not. To add to her stress, Ross started to act differently: he had an extra twinkle in his eye like he had a trick up his sleeve. Demelza wasn’t sure if she was crazy, but she just felt like he had bought a ring and could propose at any minute. Honestly, it was her worst fear. She had nightmares about it. Things would all go to hell in a hand basket if he asked her to marry him before he knew. This was definitely a game changer.

So, after about two weeks of failing miserably to tell him, she started practicing in the mirror, hoping to give herself extra courage. Maybe by saying it out loud, it would make it easier. She looked at her reflection, meeting her eyes, took a breath, and said, “Ross, I can’t have children.” There. Was that so bad? She tried, “Oh, Bee Tee Dubs, Ross, I can’t have kids.” No, definitely too casual. They had never even brought up the subject in all the talking they did daily, and they literally talked about everything. Bleu cheese: yay or nay? Iphone or Android? Red velvet cake, love it or leave it? Van Halen: David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar? Soccer or Football? Why couldn’t she bring this up? Maybe he didn’t want to be a dad, but seriously, what man doesn’t? Demelza knew that this was the exact point that every previous boyfriend had bolted and ran, and honestly, she was petrified he would do the same. But she owed him this much to know and decide for himself.

                                                                                                            **************

Ross realized that they had exhausted all the traditional date possibilities many times over and wanted to plan a special outing for her. He decided on horseback riding. One time, while she was visiting him on set, he actually helped her up onto his horse with him, holding her tightly in front of him as he allowed the horse to trot slowly. Demelza squealed with delight the entire time. Ross had shown her how the horse liked it’s muzzle scratched and the on-set trainer actually gave Demelza some treats that the horse ate out of her bare hand. There was no doubt she enjoyed the experience. Ross had other reasons for asking her on this outing. He had just gotten word that his parents were holding a 35th wedding anniversary celebration back in Ireland, and he couldn’t think of a better time for his entire family to meet her. But his other reason was, he wanted to introduce her to his family as his fiancé.

                                                                                                               ************

Six days prior to the horsback riding event, Ross had purchased the ring, a beautiful princess-cut diamond on a white gold band, little diamonds making their way from one side of the rather large stone to the other. He thought he would be at the store for hours, going through ring after ring to find the perfect one, but this caught his eye the moment he saw it, much like Demelza had, and he knew it was the one. He didn’t even need to look at another. It was a show-stopper he knew, and he didn’t even care what it cost.

Ross wouldn’t consider himself overly romantic, however, he did want the proposal to be something special. He decided on a picnic lunch they would enjoy after the horses, and set about packing things and finding a blanket. The picnic basket was the perfect place to put the ring box as he would be able to grab it when the moment was right.

He picked Demelza up around one. She chattered away about everything on the ride over as she was nervous about never having done this before. Ross explained to her how riding a horse was like holding an ice cream cone: if you leaned the cone to the right - that’s where your ice cream would fall, and conversely when holding the cone to the left. It was the same thing when pulling on the reins. Demelza smiled over at him as he drove, knowing that with his knowledge of horses he would look after her.

When they got there, they both were able to tell the employees that this was Demelza’s first time on a horse and that she was a little apprehensive. The workers smiled knowing they had the perfect horse for her, a very docile and serene mare, and asked Ross and Demelza to wait while they went back to get her. As they both stood waiting and holding hands, they watched as the cutest little boy, possibly 2 years old, was offering his palm full of treats to a horse behind a fence to nibble, giggling as his father held him in his arms. Demelza looked over at Ross for his reaction but knew it would be nothing but all smiles. Linking her arm in his she said, “Ross I need to tell you…” She never finished her sentence as her horse was now in front of them, Ross turning to her and interrupting, “Wow! Isn’t she a beauty?” Demelza was actually glad things worked out the way they did as this again would not have been the right time for the reveal.

If Ross was nervous about how Demelza would do on this outing, he soon saw she was quite the quick learner. Demelza couldn’t get over how attractive and natural he looked atop his mount, like he had been riding for years, and he had. They navigated easily through the trails, taking in the sights and sounds, Demelza’s horse calm and not once skittish. The ride back was just as enjoyable, and Demelza felt grateful that he had planned such a special day for them.

Next to the parking lot where Ross’s car was located was a beautiful park and pond, ducks swimming on the water. “Stay here,” Ross said as Demelza gave him an inquisitive eyebrow. He quickly bounded to the car, retrieving the blanket and basket. She smiled when she realized what was happening. He handed her the blanket and she chose a spot near the pond where they could see the ducks. He unpacked two turkey sandwiches, pretzels, pasta salad that made her giggle since she had made it for him yesterday, and her famous triple chocolate / chocolate chunk cookies. He also had water bottles, napkins, plastic forks, and a bottle of wine with two stemmed glasses. They were still sitting on the blanket, finishing up lunch when Ross decided the timing was finally right. Taking in a deep breath he said, “Demelza, I need to ask you something.” She froze. “Not yet, not yet, not yet!” was all she could think. “My parents are having a 35th anniversary celebration and I wondered if you would consider coming to Ireland with me.” She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until she released it in relief, smiling to herself about the false-alarm. “I would like that very much,” was her answer. He smiled and continued, “I want nothing more than to introduce you to my family. It’s time for that.” Then he reached his hand into the picnic basket pulling out the small box. “But,” he continued, “I would like to introduce you as my fiancé. He opened the box to reveal the ring. “Demelza Carne,” he said tenderly and hopefully, “will you marry me?”

 

    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was in college, my dear friend at age 20 was told she had ovarian cancer. She immediately had a total hysterectomy and has been cancer free to this day, and heavily involved in Relay For Life to help others. I remember her sobbing to me soon after her surgery as she was afraid no man would ever marry her now. I thought she was crazy and told her the right man was indeed out there. I'm sorry to say after more than 20 years, she is still unmarried.
> 
> I have struggled with my own infertility issues. My husband and I have friends that have grandchildren already and here we are still childless. It's taken me years of therapy but I now can accept what I can't change. I know there's others out there like me, and I wrote this with those in mind.
> 
> The reason why I chose horseback riding for their special date and not something else was directly inspired by the picture I included at the end of the story. I also included what the ring might look like.
> 
> Also in college, I commuted rather than live on campus to save money. I had to schedule my classes all in blocks so that I could drive in once and then drive home. I had one day where I practically had to stay all day and into the evening with a lot of lonely down-time as I had no dorm room to crash in. I also had no meal tickets and had to eat at local fast-food restaurants. My husband, who was then my boyfriend, surprised me one evening by driving in unexpectedly to meet me at the "Swan Pond." He had brought turkey sandwiches he made himself and I will never forget they had mustard and american cheese on them, cut into diagonal halves, and he had two ziplock baggies of pretzels and two cans of soda. He may have brought Oreos too. And there's the inspiration for what Ross packed for the picnic.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demelza's answer to Ross's marriage proposal...

He watched her smile completely dissolve from her face. This was not the reaction he had expected. Demelza burst into tears. “Sweetheart! Oh my God! What have I done!” and he reached into the picnic basket for a napkin. Demelza took it from him and began wiping her eyes. Then she used it to ungracefully blow her nose. “Ross,” she said with sadness still in her throat, “you don’t know me.” “Of course I do!” he said confidently. “I’ve spent just about every day this entire year with you, I’ve shared a bed with you countless times, I know how you take your coffee: 3 creams, 3 sugars, I know your favorite movie is Bridesmaids, I know your all-time favorite group is Coldplay…” “What’s my favorite song?” she tested him. “Demelza, that’s easy! Fix You.” Of course he was right. He continued, “Even though you’ll never admit it, I know you are slightly lactose-intolerant and can get a little gassy around dairy…” She swatted him on the arm like she always did when he teased her. He went on, “I laugh when people ask you if you are a true red-head because I know I’m qualified to answer the age-old question of if the carpet matches the…” “Ross!” she shrieked before he could finish his sentence, surveying the park to confirm they were the only ones there. He was chuckling now as was she. This is what he did to her: she could never be mad or upset for very long because he always broke her down by making her laugh. She was trying so desperately to tell him something gravely serious. 

“Do you know what I love about us, darling?” he asked her, “we tell each other everything.” How could he be saying this NOW, she thought. “Ross, I don’t think we really do…” He wasn’t listening. “I’ve even told you what my middle name is,” he reminded her. She giggled again. It was a weird name: Vennor. “Remember that time I spotted that HUGE snake on set? Remember that? I came home and told you how it almost slid across my hands as I was doing push-ups by the rocks between takes? I screamed like a little girl! No one on set knew what was happening to me.” She knew this story so well she was already laughing in preparation for what he was about to say next. “I shit my pants, Demelza! Got so scared…I completely shit…my… pants!” he said for extra emphasis. He was laughing too now. “Remember that nickname they gave me on set for a while?” he asked her before they both shouted in unison between howls of laughter, “ROSS VENOM POLDARK!” “See, Demelza? We tell each other every…” “Ross, I can’t have children,” she interrupted him. He stopped laughing, “What did you say?” Finally he was listening. “I said I can’t have kids.” 

He just stared at her for a long time. “Why not?” he finally asked. She closed her eyes and took a breath, as if summoning the strength to do this. “Ok,” she said, eyes finally open, “I was about 18 when I started to have…symptoms,” she said vaguely, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable at the sensitive nature of this discussion. “I had some tests done which revealed that there were indeed some very serious health problems. I immediately had a surgery which has left me unable to have children.” She looked at him to see his reaction. He didn’t speak. She feared maybe he didn’t understand what she was really saying so she dug a little deeper, “My uterus and cervix have been removed, Ross. I had what is called a partial hysterectomy. It is physically impossible for me to become pregnant.” He had stopped looking at her and was now staring at the ducks. She sat in silence with him for what seemed like an eternity. “Ross, say something, please,” she begged him. 

Even though he hadn’t moved, he suddenly felt like he was sitting a mile away from her. When he finally spoke, he said, “What upsets me the most is that you’re just telling me now, more so than what you just told me.” He turned to face her as she noticed his nostrils were slightly flared, “Why did you keep this from me? I thought we were being open and honest with each other about everything. I have been,” he said with a hand to his chest. They sat in silence before he said, “I thought that night we sat on the tub that we bore our souls to each other. I thought you told me all your fears. I even asked you if you wanted to talk about anything else.” “I know…I know!” she said scrunching her face up, then covering her eyes with her hand as she shook her head. “Not a day goes by that I don’t regret that.” He asked her again, “Why did you keep this from me?” She covered her face with both hands. “I tried to tell you several times, Ross, but…” “But what?” he quickly asked and went back to looking at the ducks. “I knew from past experiences that this is always the deal-breaker in my relationships,” she offered, “what makes everyone say goodbye to me, so I guess I was selfishly trying to keep you as long as I could.” “In other words you assumed I’m no better than the the rest,” he said wounded. After a period of silence that seemed to go on forever, she asked him, “Do you want children?” “God, Demelza, you ask me that now?!”

The ducks were regrettably flying away, giving them nothing but an empty pond to stare across. “Are you refusing my marriage proposal?” “Yes.” she said. Then she thought she should clarify, “Yes, I’m saying no to your proposal, because there shouldn’t even be a proposal still on the table. You need time to think about this and process what I’ve told you. There’s no way you can be ok with this without thinking it through. Think about the holidays, and no grandchildren, and how lonely our lives might be. All I have to offer you is me.” “So what do we do now, Demelza?” “I guess you go home to Ireland as you planned, Ross, alone, and without me. Spend time at home. See the importance of family. Let’s call this trip what it really is: a break from each other, a time-out. A chance to re-evaluate. I will be here when you get back if you can accept everything and forgive me for keeping this from you. And I will also understand if you can’t.” “Ok,” he said, too emotionally drained to argue or say anything else. She folded up the blanket while Ross tossed the ring box back into the basket, gathered the unopened wine and glasses as there had been nothing to celebrate, and they walked to his car.

On the drive home, they tried to make small talk but it was awkward. There were moments of complete silence for miles. Ross didn’t even turn the radio on, so the only thing they heard was the hum of the car engine. Demelza stared blankly at the scenery that passed her by while he drove. They both fought tears the entire time. When he finally pulled up to her house, she undid her seat belt and opened the door. Getting out, she was stopped by Ross who said, “Wait,” and pulling her back into the car, he brought her hand up to his lips to kiss. “Goodbye, Demelza.” Without a word, she stepped out of the car and walked out of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what it is Demelza had. I'm going to leave that up to the reader. It doesn't have to be cancer. Maybe it's fibroids, or endometriosis, I don't know. It is completely up to you. And thank you to the person who shared a lot about her own partial-hysterectomy, her reasons for having one, and helping me with the research for this. You know who you are...
> 
> "Let's call this trip what it really is..." another Jerry Maguire quote...
> 
> People always ask my husband and me if we ever got tested to see which one of us is the reason we are childless. We never wanted to do this because this is a journey we both are on together. If we knew, it would become what I was going through, or what he was going through, and we would know who to point the finger at and who to blame. We are fine knowing that, for whatever reason, this is how it has turned out for both of us...


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross does some soul-searching in Ireland...

Ross’s plane was touching down on the runway in Dublin, and in just a matter of minutes he was turning the doorknob to his childhood home. It never ceased to amaze him how time seemed to stand still here. The furnishings were basically the same, the smells were the same, and the routines of his parents were carrying on just like clockwork. Nothing had changed, and Ross was glad for the normalcy. Ross and his brother always felt very much loved, however, the boys had also felt that their parents put their own relationship first, sometimes ahead of their children. It was as if Ross and his brother were fit into THEIR lives, rather than the other way around. His mom and dad always took time out to strengthen their own bond, as they felt loving parents made better parents.

Getting ready to leave for the anniversary party, Ross had a moment to sit down alone with his mom and talk to her about Demelza. He poured his heart out to her and told her everything while she sat quietly and handed him tissues. Of course she told him what he already knew and that was that nobody could make this decision for him; he would have to search his soul and decide for himself. His mother cupped his cheek, reassuring him she would support him no matter what he decided. He had hoped, of all people, his mom would have some sort of opinion about what he should do, but if she did, Ross knew she wouldn't influence his choices.

She did, however, shed a bit of light on what Demelza must be feeling, sharing a bit of a woman’s point of view with him. She was quick to point out how tough it must have been for Demelza to make her way through her formative years without her mother to guide her. She also tried to make Ross see what a devastating blow it must have been for her to then, after everything, find out she could never bear children. Just one of these events alone would be enough to have lasting negative effects on a young life, and here Demelza had experienced both. His mother talked in detail that the reason Demelza wasn’t forthcoming about her secret was not at all because she didn’t love Ross or was hiding things from him, but more than likely was because of her love for him and her reluctance to lose him, even though it was indeed a mistake to not tell him sooner. She reminded him that no doubt she had had her heart broken several times over this thing she couldn’t change or control. His mother's words hit Ross hard when she explained that when a woman can't have children, often she feels broken, defective...less of a human. Ross truly had never thought about any of this from this angle.

At the anniversary party, Ross wasn’t really in the mood to mingle and kept to himself at a table. There were so many people here, so many beloved friends and family members that his parents had accrued during their 35 year love affair. He knew his parents would be too busy to realize his absence. He was emotionally drained and physically tired. He felt like everyone was moving in slow-motion around him, as if he were in a vacuum or a tunnel. He needed some air. Stepping outside, there was a park nearby with benches. Some of his relatives were already pushing small children on the swings, also taking a break from the festivities. Ross sat himself on a park bench and smiled as his young cousins ran about and played.

He was deep in his own thoughts when he saw an older couple, not part of his family, approaching the bench a ways down from him. They both were perhaps in their 80’s and Ross could see by her movements that the woman had probably had a stroke. She walked by shuffling and dragging one foot but she leaned on the man who helped her while also struggling with his own gait. The man also was holding the leash of a small dog. He helped the woman to sit down, Ross thought it probably his wife, and taking his place next to her on the bench, he produced two sandwiches from his coat pocket, unwrapping one and handing it to her. They laughed and talked while the dog put his front paws on both sets of knees, begging for bites. When the wind picked up, the woman took a headscarf out of her coat pocket. It was clear she had lost most of the use of her right hand as she struggled to put it on. Her husband rose from the bench with great difficulty, and took the scarf from her, putting it on her head, and tenderly tying it under her neck. Ross didn’t mean to stare, but he was so inspired by their love and devotion. He didn’t know if this couple had children, and if they did, those kids were not with them today. The only people here in the park were him and her, and their dog. Everything was suddenly very clear to Ross.

********************

Demelza was already up and around, getting ready for her new job. Right after Ross left for Ireland, she had turned in her resignation letter to the PCI, a whole week before the Agency got wind of what was happening and would’ve fired her anyways. She had actually been offered a spot at her friend’s catering company, the same friend who had helped her bring food to Ross’s set. They had a big wedding reception to cater today in Napa, and Demelza’s nerves were already setting in a bit. Not only was this a big deal, but she had an hour and 35 minute flight ahead of her to get there. She was folding her crisp, white chef’s jacket to add to her carry-on, when the familiar ringtone of Ross broke the silence...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my dear friends at work always talked about her parents beautiful relationship. This is almost verbatim how she described them, how she and her siblings fit into their lives rather than the other way around. It was her quote that loving parents make better parents. Even though I had this conversation with her a long time ago, it really touched me and has stuck with me for years...
> 
> Broken, defective, less of a human... very real feelings of those going through this...


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross is back from Ireland...

Demelza had not talked to Ross since the whole proposal debacle, three days short of two weeks ago. Picking up the phone in her hand, she couldn’t bring herself to answer as she had no idea what he was calling to say. Standing there staring at the screen, she saw exactly when he left her a voicemail. She had too much riding on this day and this job to be upset by whatever he felt the need to say to her and told herself she would play the message later.

Getting ready for her plane ride back home to LA, Demelza had time to reflect upon her day. It really did not go smoothly. The reception was extremely posh with about 100 guests, and the bride and groom were increasingly difficult to deal with. In fact, the entire family of the bride seemed to be critical and displeased with everything. Demelza and the entire staff tried their best to make whatever changes or meet whatever needs were necessary to seemingly no avail. It was a very trying day. Demelza’s friend had assured her that catering could be quite satisfying and rewarding, but this particular job had not been at all. And, there was the unplayed voicemail hanging over her head like a cloud of doom. Had her day gone any better, she would’ve waited until she was in the safety of her house to hear it, but since so much had gone wrong today, Demelza sought to get all the negativity over at one time. She still had the opportunity to hear the voicemail as her plane was still on the runway, not ready for take-off, so she put her earphones on and hit play:

 

Demelza…uh…Hi. This is Ross. I've just returned from Ireland, and I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked. I just wanted to…I mean…there are things to be said. I was hoping to catch you today. If you want to, I’ll be at our favorite coffee shop at our usual outdoor table tomorrow at 15:00, errr, 7 o’clock. Maybe you could meet me there. Umm…ok…bye. 

 

She played the message three times. She did notice that he said he "just returned" so maybe he was calling right away? That sounded promising, but she was too afraid to get her hopes up. She thought his voice sounded…sad.  


**********************  
Tomorrow had arrived. It was 7:07 and Demelza was all dressed and ready and yet was still sitting on her bed. For the life of her, she just couldn’t go. It seemed like they had already made a clean break, so why put salt on the wound? Getting up, she plunked it on her couch and turned her TV to HGTV to watch the same episode of House Hunters she knew she had seen a thousand times.

Ross arrived to the coffee shop super early and was glad he did when he saw people were already sitting at Demelza and his favorite table, the table he said he’d be sitting at to meet her. He picked a different one and waited, staring nervously at his phone when he saw how close it was getting to time. Eventually he had to go over and explain his story to faces that indicated they thought he was crazy. In the end, they did get up and Ross quickly sat down, staking his claim. He had a perfect view of the street and the sidewalk. He checked his phone when it was almost 7, when it was 7:02, and finally when it was 7:27. Deep down he knew all along that she wasn’t coming. At 7:35, he finished his macchiato and walked to his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shamefully borrowed that scene about having to sit at a certain table to meet someone and when you get there, finding other people sitting there and making them move, from the show This Is Us, which to me is one of the greatest shows on TV...of course a distant second to Poldark ;)
> 
> "There are things to be said," is what Julia Roberts says to Hugh Grant in Notting Hill...
> 
> I know this is a short chapter, but I promise the next one is longer as there will be A LOT going on...


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone knocks on Ross' door...

Four days later, Ross was vacuuming when he thought he heard a tapping on his door. Opening it revealed she was standing on his porch. “Demelza, I didn’t know you were…come in.” She interrupted him, “Ross, I have to tell you something.” “Ok, well come in and we’ll talk.” “No,” she said firmly shaking her head. “Let’s talk here, on your porch.” “Ok,” he didn’t care if they stood on his roof as long as she was here. “Why don’t we sit out back? Is that ok?” he asked. “Just walk around the side here and I’ll meet you.” 

She was sitting on his stone bench when he got there. He pulled up a patio chair near her instead of sitting beside her in case she wanted her space. She wasted no time, “Ross I have to tell you something.” “And I also have something to tell you,” he matched her. She insisted on going first. “I’ve quit my job at the PCI.” He did his best to put his most serious face on as he sat there nodding. She hadn’t cooked for him in over two weeks. He kind of already figured this out. He was having trouble believing she drove all the way over to his house just to tell him this. “Is there something else?” “No, just that I won’t be cooking for you anymore,” she said looking down at her hands. More serious nodding from him. “I see,” he said and knit his brows with concern for her benefit.

“I guess it’s your turn,” she said still staring at her folded hands. Taking a breath he started in, “Demelza I…” was all he got out when she asked, “Is something barking in your house?” “Oh, neighbors,” he said pointing to the house next door. “They have a new puppy.” He began again and told her everything. He told her about the older couple and their little dog and how watching them had taught him that it’s important to have the person you love to grow old with. He told her about how his parents always put their relationship first, even ahead of their children when necessary. He was talking for quite some time. He got up and sat next to her on the bench when he said that he finally understood how courageous and strong she had remained despite the hardships that life had dealt her. She never looked up, even when he put a hand on her back, and looking down with her, he saw there were tears falling on her hands. This gave him the strength to continue.

“Demelza, I don’t care that you can’t have children. I love YOU and I’m ready to accept everything that comes with you. I want to help you to a bench when you’re 80 and hand you a sandwich. Whatever life throws our way, we will face it together, with you always at my side.” She looked up at him finally with an expression that was surprisingly softer than he thought it would be. Kneeling on one knee in front of the bench, he reached for the ring box he had just stuffed in his pocket a second before coming outside. “Demelza Carne, will you marry me?” She leaned forward without saying a word and hugged him. He almost lost his balance as he was still kneeling. She sobbed on his shoulder. He barely heard her whisper through sobs, “Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes!” She pulled back to look at him and he kissed her softly. He slid the ring on her finger and kissed her again. “Wait here,” he said and ran back into the house.

Demelza was left alone on the bench with nothing else to do than admire astonishingly the rock that was on her finger. She didn’t even want to contemplate how much it had set him back financially. It was taking him quite a long time in the house. She was just about to go in and see what was the matter when she saw him walking towards her with a very large tiffany colored box, white bow on top. Kneeling a second time and balancing the box on his knee, he instructed her to take the lid off. Doing so revealed the cutest golden retriever puppy, blue bow-tie collar around his neck, and long, shaggy hair. “Demelza Carne, will you be a pet parent with me?” She alternated back and forth from looking in the box to looking at Ross. “So there WAS barking in your house! Ross, what if I would’ve said no to your marriage proposal tonight? What would you have done with this puppy?” “I would’ve kept him for myself,” he smiled. “I’ve had him 5 days now, and he’s really a good dog. Except his likes to jump in my fish pond,” he chuckled. Ross watched as Demelza picked up the puppy and held him close to her chest, “Does he have a name yet?” “Nope,” he said shaking his head, “I’ve just been calling him Puppy. Demelza looked up at Ross, again with tears in her eyes and said, “Let’s name him Garrick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILER ALERT: A lot of people messaged me that they think it's so neat that Ross and Demelza are pet parents. I assure you if you have this story figured out, you will be surprised in future chapters. I hope you can stay with me to find out...
> 
> When I wrote this chapter way back in June, I actually typed THE END when I was done. Recently, I wrote a short Epilogue to explain "Where are they now?" and then I decided to develop the epilogue further. I think I can get three more chapters to this story...
> 
> My husband and I are some of "those people" who have dogs we consider our "kids." I have a need to nurture and my pets have given me this opportunity. It's not what I planned, but it's better than nothing. I proudly wear my "Fur Mama" t-shirt because my dogs are my fur babies! And this is the inspiration for being a pet parent. But, my husband and I limit ourselves to just two dogs at a time, we don't have an entire pack!
> 
> Once I brought my black, Labrador retriever, Max, to my sister's house when I was feeding her fish while she was on vacation. I turned for a second and heard a giant splash! He was in the pond with the fish. It took my husband and me to get him out without hurting the fish! And that's the inspiration for Garrick jumping in the pond.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demelza has a change of heart when planning the wedding...

Ross and Demelza began making the arrangements for their wedding. They originally had an outdoor ceremony planned for a vineyard in Napa, because that’s what everyone who was anyone did in California. Demelza tried her best for so long to be on board with these plans as she knew Ross really wanted it. So much of this wedding were her choices: the dress, the cake, the colors, the food, even what Ross would be wearing…this was the one thing that he had picked out. But the closer it got to the date, she knew she just couldn’t do it. It was one night when Demelza was rinsing the dinner dishes and handing them to Ross to load in the dishwasher that she just came out and said, “Ross, I don’t want to get married in Napa.” He almost dropped the plate he was holding. “What?” She saw the panic on his face. “But you still want to get married, don’t you?” he asked nervously. “Are you getting cold feet?” She realized he was totally misinterpreting what she was saying, and still holding the vegetable sprayer from the sink, she gave him a quick spritz of water in the face to loosen him up a bit. He laughed while swatting her bottom with the dishtowel. “Of course I still do, silly!” she reassured him. Just not in Napa.” “Alright, let’s talk about this,” he said, and she followed him over to the island to sit down. 

She told him about the time she catered in Napa, which was also the time she had feared they had broken up as he left for Ireland. She explained how difficult the wedding party was to deal with, and how she had the unplayed voicemail from him hanging over her head. “It’s just not a place of good memories for me,” she explained. After he listened, he said, “I’m worried that we aren’t going to be able to find another venue with this short notice. It’s right around the corner, Demelza.” “I know…” she said shaking her head, knowing her timing was always terrible. He got up and went to the fridge, retrieving two bottles of beer and handing one to Demelza. Sitting down and taking a sip he asked her, “Where do you want to get married?” She turned to gaze out the window that was over the sink that looked onto Ross’s property. “This is going to sound crazy…” she started out, “but I want to get married in your back yard.”

He almost spewed his beer all over the kitchen. After he had stopped coughing, he shouted, “MY BACK YARD?” “Hear me out,” and putting her hand on his she explained, “Your yard is so beautiful and it’s spacious enough that we could get a big tent out there for a dance floor and tables. Also, the caterers could use your beautiful kitchen which would be just steps away. We could set up chairs by the flower bed or pond for an outdoor ceremony, and then have dining and dancing in the tent. We’ve kept our guest list so small to include just the closest family and friends, it would be so easy to orchestrate this.” God, he loved this woman. He could clearly see that she had spent a lot of time thinking about this, and was amazed as he knew he could never come up with anything this unique and creative on his own. “I love it, Demelza.” Her face immediately beamed with excitement before it became very serious again. “We’re going to lose our deposit, Ross,” she reminded him, knowing it was quite a chunk of change. He drooped the corner of his lips as he shrugged his shoulders, “I’ll call them tomorrow and cancel.” Her faced beamed again. “Really? she asked in disbelief. “Really,” he reassured her. “One more thing,” she said with concern, “we’re probably going to have to go around to your neighbors and tell them what’s happening and explain why so many cars will be parked on the street. We will also need to make sure the guests leave at a reasonable hour and don’t blare our music too late so everyone around us can sleep. We will have to consider the neighbors.” He couldn’t get over how much she had really thought this through. “Let’s do it, Demelza,” and they clinked their beer bottles together. 

****************************

The day of the wedding went without a hitch. Even the weather cooperated as it often does in California. Ross’s entire family had flown in from Ireland, even his father who has a sworn aversion to airplanes. The only one missing from the joyous occasion was Demelza’s father, Tom. Just two months before the nuptials, Demelza had received a call from her brothers Sam and Drake, telling her to come quickly as their father was dying. Ross had flown back to Ohio with her and held her hand by her father’s bedside as she said her goodbye. He was also there to cradle her in his arms after her tearful eulogy at the funeral.

Demelza took it very hard that neither of her parents would be able to see her get married and her father would not be there to walk her down the aisle. Ross didn’t know how to comfort her or how to fix this situation. He suggested one of her brothers could do it and even offered to ask his own father. She thought and cried about it for days. The answer came to her in the middle of the night as she laid next to Ross, unable to turn her mind off from thinking. She smiled to herself at how the answer was always right in front of her. She was too afraid to wait until morning. Shaking him by the shoulder, she whispered, “Ross, wake up….Ross.” It took a few times of this. “Hmmmm?” he finally said sleepily. “I know who should walk me down the aisle. I couldn’t wait to tell you because it’s so perfect!” She was sitting up now so he sat up too, rubbing his sleep laden eyes to try to see her better. She told him with tears and waited for his reaction. “Oh, Demelza…of course,” was all he said. She continued, “and I know who I want to be our ring bearer…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to acknowledge all the help, support, and advice I have gotten from Genie60. I've been reading her fics for years and she is someone I definitely have looked up to for a long time. Her support as I am just starting out has been so appreciated. Please, if you have not read her works, you should head over there and check her out. Her writings are so well done.
> 
> My husband and I knew we wanted something very small when we were planning our wedding and were actually fine with just going down to the courthouse. In the end, we actually got married in our house, right in our living room. We had enough room for a few guests, and one of our town's judges came out to perform the ceremony. We still live in that house today, and even as I sit here typing in the same living room, I can see the hole in our ceiling where we had hung a "wedding bells" decoration. We never spackled it because it's a fun reminder 22 years later.
> 
> On the show, I always wished Ross had gone with Demelza to comfort her when her father was dying. I know Ross still had to finalize all the preparations for Dwight and Caroline's wedding...but I still wish he had been there for her. Well, he was in my story...


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding ceremony and wedding night...

Ross stood at the altar the wedding planner, Caroline Penvenen, had beautifully crafted in his back yard. When Demelza appeared, the guests were torn between looking at Ross for his reaction when he saw her, or at Demelza’s beautiful off-the-shoulder gown and cornflower blue floral arrangement. Those that were looking at Ross noticed that his chin immediately started to tremble when he made eye contact with her. No one could see his tears until he brought up a hand for a quick wipe of his eye. Demelza had a grin of complete confidence as she made her way towards the man she would share her life with. She walked alone and the guests smiled at her with sadness in their eyes for the loss of her father. When she got halfway down the aisle, she stopped, and much to everyone’s surprise, Ross left the altar to walk back to her. Taking his place beside her, he held out the crook of his elbow for her to link her arm in, and he walked her the rest of the way.

Ross’s best man was his brother, Colin, and Demelza’s maid of honor was her best friend since kindergarten, Simone, who flew in from Ohio. There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen as this was a very small affair per the couple’s request. After the vows were recited and the rings were asked for, everyone soon turned completely in the opposite direction to see the golden, long-haired dog, trotting down the aisle with his special satin collar, the rings attached to it by a ribbon. Garrick was overly friendly and easily distracted. He stopped at each row of chairs to wag his tail and sniff everybody. The guests let out a collective chuckle and many reached out to pet him. Ross had to squat down on his knees to get the dog’s attention saying, “Garrick, here boy,” and he clapped his hands together. Garrick trotted down to him and the ceremony continued. 

After the most heartfelt and romantic kiss was shared by the new Mr. and Mrs. Poldark, the guests congregated in the tent for the meal and the dancing. All of Demelza’s CIA friends catered the event “on the house” as a gift for the happy couple. The guests laughed and danced the night away until Ross made a tearful and romantic toast to his bride and then not a dry eye was found. Demelza and Ross were smart to invite all the neighbors to come by in the evening for cake, and when they did, each neighbor congratulated the couple and told them to continue celebrating as late as they wanted. The last guests left around 1 am.

Even though Demelza spent more time staying over at Ross’s than she did her own cramped apartment, Ross picked her up in his arms, ceremoniously carrying her over the threshold and into the house, setting her down on her feet in the same kitchen she had prepared so many meals for him when she was under his employ. She began putting some things away and coming up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her, his lips tickling her ear as he asked her, "Did you ever think when you were first cooking here that one day we would be married?" She turned to face him, "No," she said, "but I do know that right away there was something about you, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. Ever." They tidied up a bit, Ross chilling the unopened and extra wine in the wine fridge and Demelza carefully wrapping, and double wrapping, the cake topper for freezing, as they wrinkled their noses at each other when they thought about eating it again at this time next year. Demelza lifted up the bottom hem of her gown enough for her to climb the stairs with Ross, retiring to a room that now could officially be called their bedroom.

Ross had waited all evening to be alone with her, and even as they were moving slowly on the dance floor, he had made Demelza’s cheeks redden as he whispered in her ear exactly what she could expect for later. Alone now, he kissed her slowly and tenderly, like a man who was not in any rush to hurry through this special night. She offered him the back of her gown and he slowly worked the long zipper down, slipping a hand inside to caress her breasts. She turned to face him as the dress pooled at her feet. Ross’s mouth gaped as he saw for the first time the beautiful medley of lace, silk, garters, and stockings that she wore underneath. She flew at his lips with urgency, fingers immediately threading through his hair. He broke their kiss to step back from her. “Wait a minute, Demelza, I want to see you and appreciate the beautiful things you are wearing. Did you have this on all day under your gown?” “Yes, and it’s a shame it all has to come off now!” and her feet left the floor as she jumped into his arms, kissing him and wrapping her legs around his waist as he stood, giving him no other choice than to support her under her buttocks so she wouldn’t fall. He set her down gently, again stepping back. “Let me see you, love. Let me take this all in…” and his fingers traced the lace around her breasts. “Let me savor this,” he told her. He undid each hook and removed each piece carefully until she was almost naked. His eyes surveyed her slender frame and his lips tasted every bit of her flesh. When she showed him how the tricky garters and stockings should be removed, he breathed in her ear, “Those can stay on…”

Demelza made quicker work of his tux and soon he was atop her in the bed. Ross could feel the silk of her stockings as her legs wrapped around him tightly. What happened next was so much more than sex, it was a commitment and a promise, a further extension of the handwritten vows they had just tearfully given. It definitely was not their first time, but it felt like it in so many ways. It was a beginning of their journey together as husband and wife. It was beyond desire, it was love. Their bliss continued all night, only stopping for Demelza to put on his white tux shirt and make her way downstairs, gathering leftover chicken and cake to sustain them. Back in bed they tenderly fed each other bites and the cake was shared with only one fork as Demelza said she “accidentally” grabbed one instead of two. Soon the fork was completely forgotten as Ross licked and sucked the frosting off each of her fingers slowly, and with a lingering mouth. He removed his white shirt from her and positioning her above him by her hips, he lowered her onto him. Her fingers dug into his chest as she rode him, watching his face turn rapturous before he moaned and released himself into her. She slumped forward onto his chest as they both caught their breath. A sound that brought them back to reality was Garrick, scratching at their door, indignant that he could not access his dog bed that lived on the floor at the foot of their bed. “You can let him in now,” Ross chuckled as Demelza slipped off him to open the door. The dog trotted in to lay down, and Demelza returned to Ross’s arms for some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea of Ross walking Demelza halfway down the aisle from my own wedding. I had researched options at the time and when I found this idea for me, I just loved it. My husband came back and walked me the rest of the way. My father is very much alive and was in attendance at my wedding and yet...don't ask. It's not worth telling.
> 
> Don't we all need a little Romelza fluff after the Season 3 finale? I won't give spoilers here. I will always be Team Romelza forever!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to face scary things together...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading because I am accurate and do my research...you might be disappointed. I will explain at the end, if you can make it there...
> 
> When the tears come streaming down your face  
> When you lose something you can't replace  
> When you love someone but it goes to waste  
> Could it be worse?  
> Lights will guide you home  
> And ignite your bones  
> And I will try to fix you
> 
> -Fix You lyrics by Coldplay

Ross and Demelza bought the house Ross was renting when Demelza first began cooking for him. After his period drama aired in the States, it became so popular that Ross was offered and signed on for several more seasons, all to be filmed in California. And Demelza just loved the house. She spent countless hours working on Ross’s perennial flower bed, turning it into a beautiful English country garden. She worked tirelessly on the small fish pond, converting it into a spectacular water feature. Inside they had changed the furnishings, and Demelza had added a coat of paint to all the rooms in the trendiest colors. The house was full of so many memories, mostly the beautiful wedding that had taken place there. 

Ross also wasn’t able to get time off from filming for a honeymoon. They were married on a Saturday, and Monday morning he was back to work. It didn’t matter to them. They didn’t need a beautiful location to spark their hunger for each other. They were already insatiable and explored every room of their house for new and exciting locations for their lovemaking: the kitchen, the laundry room, bathroom, the backseat of Ross’s car parked privately in their own garage; no room was off limits. Demelza couldn’t help feeling guilty thinking if her culinary professors knew what was taking place on her kitchen countertop, they would be so disappointed. The newly married couple even enjoyed an encounter during a long break between takes in Ross’s trailer on set. They vowed never to engage in future similar trysts as many people were milling around outside, staring as Ross left his trailer alone, watching him try and fail to smooth his disheveled hair back into place and straighten his collar. Demelza strategically left his trailer several minutes later only to be met with knowing glances and winks. They knew they could play the newlywed-card to excuse this indiscretion, but they were still a bit mortified.

****************** 

If you asked Demelza what her favorite memory was of the wedding ceremony, she would say it was her and Ross’s first dance as husband an wife. He took her by the hand and walked her to the center of the dance floor, but to Demelza’s surprise, someone handed him a microphone. He immediately told the guests that they would be dancing to Demelza’s favorite song, Fix You by Coldplay. He then explained that the lead singer of the group, Chris Martin, had written this song for his then wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, to help comfort her in the loss of her father, Bruce. Ross reminded everyone what a bittersweet day this was for Demelza as just two short months ago she also had lost her father. He told the guests that this song conveyed his feelings for his new bride and that he would always be there for her. And right on cue the music started. They swayed slowly as the song Demelza had listened to a thousand times suddenly took on new life and meaning. Ross said softly in her ear, “I’ll always be here to take care of you, sweetheart,” and she laid her head on his shoulder.

Just three months after his pledge of never leaving her side, Demelza was holding his hand, sitting at a desk across from a doctor who was telling Ross he had cancer. A rigorous and difficult treatment plan was mapped out for him, and it was expressed that even when completed, the prognosis still did not look good. Demelza took him to all his tests and biopsies. He became distant and withdrawn, and snapped at her several times a day which was so not like Ross, but she knew where it was coming from as he was scared out of his mind. She gave him his space but was there when he needed her. She didn’t take anything he said or did to heart. 

Demelza and Ross had several questions that Ross’s doctor either wouldn’t or couldn’t answer. They didn’t like the way he spoke to them and felt very in the dark about what was going on. Things just weren’t adding up. That’s when Demelza remembered that their wedding planner, Beverly Hills socialite Caroline Penvenen, was married to a surgeon that specialized in oncology. Driving Ross home from yet another test Demelza broached the subject. “I think you should get a second opinion, Ross.” He tried his best to smile and said, “I have cancer, Demelza. How many people do you need to hear say it?” “Do you remember our wedding planner, Caroline?” she asked him. He nodded. “Her husband is a surgeon. He’s known about town as being a bit progressive in his treatments and diagnosis. I think it’s worth a try, Ross. If he agrees with your doctor…if he says the same thing, then we’ll know, and we won’t pursue anything else. I think it’s worth a try,” she said again as she put her hand on his knee. He sighed, and said, “Alright.” It was no accident that she had driven them past their favorite ice cream stand. For about a half hour Ross seemed to remember who he used to be as they sat at the outdoor table with their cones and laughed. Demelza even got to hear his signature bellow that he used to give out so freely. He reached for her hand, “I love you, Demelza. I’m sorry this wasn’t the life you planned.” “I have no doubt it’s going to be,” and she squeezed his tightly. On the way home, he had already retreated to his dark cave.

Their initial meeting with Dr. Enys, Dwight as he told them to call him, went very well. He answered all of their questions, (Demelza had made a lengthy list), in a concise and easy to understand manner. Dwight’s prognosis for Ross sounded much more hopeful. Also, Ross and Dwight seemed to hit it off instantly as they had a lot in common: similar ages, through conversation they discovered they had similar sport interests, and Dwight had even worked on the set of the first season of Ross’s show as a member of the on-set medical team, even though Ross vaguely remembered him. Dwight suggested an out-patient exploratory surgery, and sent Ross and Demelza home with a much calmer spirit. Ross actually chatted all the way home. He ate dinner with Demelza instead of retreating to bed. When she was out working on the pond, she looked up and saw him sitting on the bench, keeping her company instead of staring blankly at ESPN all night. Even Garrick dropped a ball in Ross’s lap and he threw it a couple of times into the yard. That night in bed, instead of facing the wall, Ross turned to her for the comfort only a lover could provide. “I need you, Demelza,” he had whispered in her ear as he held her against his body. He was no longer shutting her out. Dr. Enys had temporarily given Demelza her husband back.

On the day of the surgery, Demelza took Ross to the hospital at 4:30 am. Ross was a bit grumpy as he had fasted pretty much the entire evening prior in preparation and was starving. Demelza laughed and told him he was “hangry.” She sat by his bedside as nurses hooked him up to machines that beeped and put an IV into his arm. She could tell he was nervous and frankly, so was she. 

Dwight poked his head in to see if Ross was ready and to again reassure them by going over exactly what was going to happen today. He explained that today’s procedure was going to be much like removing a gall-bladder except they would be removing a mass; similar incisions, and similar recovery time. It was projected that Ross would be in pain today, but better tomorrow; and the procedure would be out-patient, meaning if all went as planned, Ross could go home later that same day. Dwight’s smile was not in short supply the whole time he talked with them and he made both Ross and Demelza feel a lot more relaxed and hopeful about the whole procedure.

A team came in to administer some of the pre-op anesthesia and to roll Ross in his bed to the OR. The medicine kicked in quickly and suddenly Ross’s movements became very slow and his speech slurred. He seemed to be getting really loopy. He said odd things that made Demelza want to giggle. She followed as they wheeled him out into the hall where the nurses told her that now would be the time to kiss him if she wanted. They covered his wild curls with his surgical “shower cap.” Demelza bent down and kissed him on the forehead. “You’ll be fine,” she reassured him, “the next time you open your eyes this will all be over and I will be sitting next to your bed.” She stood in the hall, watching them roll him farther and farther away, when he told them to stop. He shouted, “We’ll be eating tacos in 3 hours. Mark my words!” Leave it to Ross to think about food at a time like this. The effect the anesthesia was having reminded Demelza of the few times she had seen him rip-roaring drunk, and he was hysterical to be around at those times.

When he was almost completely at the end of the hall, she saw him blow her a kiss and give her a thumbs-up, his wires all twisting around the rails of his bed. Once he was out of sight, she stood in the hall and sobbed. Demelza had not allowed herself to cry about any of this once, even when he first got the diagnosis. Her job was to be strong for him. But when she saw him in that cap, covering his beautiful mane of curls, the dam just opened up. It was something about the cap that made him look so vulnerable and she realized the strong man she relied on for so much was experiencing a very uncertain future.

She found a place in the waiting room where she could directly see the doors for anyone walking out with news. She wasn’t the only one in the room as many other people were waiting and milling around with coffee. A TV was on and she stared blankly at what it offered. Getting her phone out, she opened Facebook and tagged herself and Ross into the hospital so she could use that post to give updates on Ross’s condition to family and friends. She was just about to close her eyes and dose off in her chair when she heard someone calling her name. She looked up to see Caroline, Dwight’s wife and Demelza’s wedding planner, walking towards her. Even though it was around 6 in the morning, she was impeccably dressed in designer duds, full makeup and perfectly coiffed hair. The two had worked countless hours together planning all the details of Demelza’s wedding and they had gotten extremely close. In fact, Demelza would call her a friend.

Caroline took a seat next to her. “Let’s go down to Starbucks, Dem,” she suggested to pass the time. Of course Demelza was chained to her seat, afraid to be MIA if anyone came out with news. Caroline asked her, “They gave you a pager, right?” Demelza held up the device that would flash lights and vibrate when she would be summoned. “It will ring when they’re ready, Demelza, and you’ll have plenty of time to run back. Anyways, Dwight’s just started and it will be a while. He knows I was coming today to keep you company, so he would text me if he couldn’t find you. Relax. Let’s get some coffee and I bet you haven’t had breakfast.” Demelza was just glad to have a friend with her as she waited.

They walked down to the lobby and found the Starbucks. Demelza ordered a Salted Caramel Mocha and a Blueberry Muffin and Caroline a Chai. They took a table near the door as they sipped and chatted, Demelza picking at her food and staring nervously at the clock. Then they went next door to the gift shop where Demelza brought Ross a giant balloon that was shaped like a monkey holding a banana that said “Get Well Soon,” as she knew he would laugh when he saw it. Caroline had to get going, so she gave Demelza a big hug, winking when she told her Ross was “in good hands.”

No sooner did Demelza get back to the waiting room and secure the balloon around the arm of her chair, when she saw Dwight himself walking towards her in his surgical garb. She thought he was smiling. He took the chair beside her and said, “Everything went well and Ross is resting comfortably. We were able to remove the entire mass. Of course I’m sending everything out to the lab, but it really appears that this was some kind of cyst rather than a tumor. I’ll let you know the moment the results come in, probably in a couple of days, but I feel a lot better now that I’ve seen everything. He does have a small incision, and the nurse will be making an appointment to bring him back and have the sutures removed. He might be a little sore but I’m confident he’ll be going home later today.” Demelza couldn’t believe what she’s hearing. “Are you saying he’s ok?” Dwight smiled again, “Of course the test results will let us know for sure, but I would be surprised if this cancer scare was anything more than just that, a scare. Demelza surprised Dwight by hugging him as he sat. After the hug lasted several seconds, Dwight smiled and put his arms around her too. “He’s in the recovery room now if you’d like to go back and see him.”

Demelza sat by his bed while Ross slept in recovery. He sleepily opened his eyes and soon she was following him in his bed as they rolled him into an elevator to take him back to his room. There he slept a bit more on and off again. Demelza jumped up and sat on the edge of his bed when he finally began to stir. “Am I in a different room?” he asked her. “No. Same room, but it’s over Ross. How do you feel?" she asked as she smoothed his curls out of his eyes. “I’ve been better…” he smiled. Demelza could tell a tube had been down his throat when she heard how dry his voice was. Two more times he woke up and asked her, “Am I in a different room?” “No, Ross. Same room.” She smiled. It was the anesthesia. 

When he was more awake, they sat him up and offered him ice chips to see if he could keep them down. Then he took a couple of sips of Sprite through a straw, and finally agreed to eat a few bites of toast that he appeared to fall asleep while chewing, only to wake up and resume eating. Demelza giggled and filed this away in her memory to tell him later.

Around 5 pm, Demelza was handed the bag with his clothes, and she got him dressed. He was put in a wheel chair, monkey balloon secured to the handles, and was rolled down to the lobby while Demelza pulled his Range Rover around to the discharge doors. He slept the entire way home, and she woke him up when she pulled into their driveway. She helped him up the stairs and into the house, depositing him on the couch where he slept pretty much the rest of the evening. Demelza was just alerting everyone on Facebook that Ross was home and resting when her cellphone rang. It was Dwight. 

“Good news!” he said after she said “Hello.” “Lab results actually came back tonight and I wanted to call you right away. Everything is benign. Looks like it was just a weird cyst that we removed.” Demelza was still in shock but thought to ask, “What should Ross do now?” “Whatever the hell he wants!” the surgeon said with a laugh. “I’ll see him in a week for the suture removal. We also might want to schedule 6 month appointments for a while just to make sure this was a one time deal.” “Dr. Enys…Dwight…thank you for everything,” she said tearfully. “I didn’t do anything,” he reassured her. “Have a good night, Demelza. Tell Ross I said his Cleveland Cavaliers don’t stand a chance against my Golden State Warriors,” and then she heard the dial tone.

Ross woke up around 11pm and slowly sat up. Demelza told him the news as they held each other and cried. Demelza helped him stand up, but once he was standing, he got himself to the bathroom just fine on his own. She made sure he got himself back to the couch and brought him a nice jello since he had not eaten anything all day besides the couple bites of toast. Demelza was exhausted. “Let’s go to bed, Ross, I’m beat,” she said as she stood, extending her hand to help him. “I’m not tired at all, I think I slept too long today and tonight. I’m going to stay up and watch old movies or something,” he told her. She stayed with him, laughing and telling him all the funny things he had done that day. “You fell asleep while eating, Ross!” she giggled. “Do you even remember saying we were going to eat tacos or asking me a million times if you were in a different room?” He chuckled, “Always glad to amuse you, my dear.” They curled up on the couch, until Demelza fell asleep in his arms. They woke up there the next morning.

By the next day he was almost back to his old self and the day after that you couldn’t even tell he had had a surgery. A week later, the stitches were removed and just a small scar was the only memory of the scare they both had. But the experience changed them both as they lived harder, loved greater, and laughed louder. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. It also gave Ross the courage to ask Demelza an important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The point of this chapter is that I wanted to show two people going through a crisis together at the beginning of their marriage. It's so vague and not probably factual. It's not medically correct at all, so please forgive me. And if you want to know, the surgery I describe is a combination of my and my husband's gall-bladder surgeries.
> 
> Also, I wanted to write a modern day Dr. Choake, maybe a bit off in the diagnosis, but a great way to introduce Dwight and for him to come in and save the day. My husband and I have had very good experiences with doctors and surgeons and I am in no way trying to cast a negative light on this profession.
> 
> My husband did fall asleep while eating toast in recovery, and shouted to me about going to our favorite mexican restaurant! I was the one that asked a MILLION times if I was in a different room. Anesthesia is weird!
> 
> I wish I had a picture of the huge monkey balloon. It was very real and I could hardly fit into the elevator with it! I can still see my husband being wheeled around with this GINORMOUS balloon floating behind him!
> 
> When I was in my 20's, a doctor once thought I might be exhibiting symptoms of a neurological disease. I went home and did the research and of course got really scared. I was sent to a neurologist for testing. I was then told I did not have the disease. I had no idea if further testing was needed, or if the doctor was sure, so I asked him, "What should I do now?" meaning, how should I proceed from here? I remember so vividly that he shouted, "Do whatever the hell you want!" and then laughed. I will never, ever forget that!
> 
> To my Russian born grandmother, the answer to anything in life was a "nice jello." Never just jello. Are you sick? I made you a nice jello. Invited to a party? Take a nice jello. Hungry? Here's a nice jello. I would give anything to eat one of her nice jellos now...


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demelza's got a secret...again

It was a Fall Saturday night at the Poldark house which meant one thing, college football. Originally, Ross had known football to mean what Demelza called soccer. It was when Ross went back to Ohio for his future father-in-law’s funeral that he learned differently. The little town Demelza was from was very proud of their collegiate team. When Ross and Demelza had gone to the local market, Ross quickly noticed that everyone was in the school colors: men, women, and children. There was a sea of scarlet and gray everywhere. Ross asked Demelza about the strange necklaces everyone seemed to be wearing and she explained to him that they were buckeyes. That evening, four days after the funeral, they congregated around the TV with Sam and Drake at Sam’s house, large plates of nachos Demelza made paired with ice-cold beer in front of them as they watched the game. Ross immediately became enamored with the sport. Soon after, Demelza had surprised Ross with a gift of his own OSU T-shirt and buckeye necklace.

On this Saturday night in their California kitchen, Ross walked in wearing his same t-shirt that had faded with many wears and washes, “What’s that wonderful smell?” “Dinner,” Demelza said pointing to the crock-pot, the same one they had bought that time at Target. He lifted the lid and breathed in, “Mmmmmm….what is this?” “Buffalo Chicken Dip,” she explained, “because it’s game night.” “Mmmmmm,” he said again, “but what’s for dinner?” “Buffalo Chicken Dip, Ross,” she said extra slowly to make it abundantly clear. He smiled, “You’re allowing junk food for dinner? No farm-to-table nutrition?” “Not on game night,” she laughed. She put a giant bed of tortilla chips on a plate, ladling the warm dip which consisted of cream cheese, ranch dressing, shredded colby jack cheese, buffalo sauce, and canned chicken, over the chips. Handing the overflowing plate to Ross she said, “hang on,” and got a beer from the fridge and handed it to him. As he walked to the sofa she smiled as she heard him say, “Best dinner, ever!”

She sat herself in her favorite chair and watched the game the way she liked to: doing something else, but looking up from time to time. Tonight she was on her IPAD, pinning away on Pinterest. She didn’t want to know how much time she actually spent on this app. It seemed to be her new obsession. She had recipe boards, laundry room boards as they were about to remodel, clothes and shoes, inspirational quotes, hairstyle and make up, she even had a secret board dedicated to Ross. She loved when fans met him and posted their pics on the web, telling everyone how kind and gracious he was. She also pinned all the photo shoots he did and all the promotional shots released by the production company of his show. She knew he would roll his eyes at her if he knew, and that’s why she kept it a secret.

While pinning a new recipe, she happened to see that Ross was staring at her very grimly. “What’s that face?” she asked him. “Nothing, Demelza, it’s just my face.” She smiled and went back to pinning. He kept staring. “Ross you’re missing the game.” He picked up the remote and turned the TV off. “Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.” She sighed heavily, “Ross, if you really have to have a motorcycle, at least promise me you’ll get a helmet and don’t ride on the freeway,” she said, sounding like a wife. “No, not that,” Ross said, “I just want to ask you how you feel about something. And I’m not making you do anything you don’t want to. I just want to know where you stand on something.” She stared at him, blinking for several seconds before she said, “Ross… is it not enough that once a year on your birthday I agree to…” “No, not that either!” he chuckled, “but believe me, I am very grateful…Demelza, how do you feel about adoption?” 

He watched as her face changed, and knowing her as well as he did, he could tell this was upsetting her. “Ok,” he said, backing off, “we don’t have to talk about it. I’m sorry I brought it up.” She put her IPAD down, “No, Ross, let’s talk about it. I don’t mind.” She thought for a minute and then started in, “I think it would kill me to tell my child they were adopted and have them leave me in search of their “real mom,” she said making air quotes. “It would be like a little piece of me died. I don’t think I could go through that.” He patted the couch for her to come and sit next to him. She did, and snuggling up to him as he put his arm around her, she continued, “And anyways, I would want my child to have your beautiful curls,” as she reached up to wrap one of his ringlets around her finger, “ and these beautiful brown eyes,” as she kissed him on the eyelid. “But that’s not possible.”

“What if I told you it was?” he inquired. She pulled back to look him in the face. “How?” “A surrogate, Demelza.” She immediately shook her head, “You don’t have that kind of money, Ross.” “Demelza…” he said in a scolding tone. “It’s OUR money. What’s mine is yours. There never, ever was a thought of a pre-nup in our relationship. And yes, WE have the money.” She stared at him in disbelief. He went on, “Because my mum has been my accountant, she has watched over the money with the strictest of eyes and tells me we have a nice nest-egg.” “Ross…I don’t know…” “Demelza, our house is very modest, you are still driving the car you drove from Ohio to California. We are not living beyond our means. We have the money to do this.” “But once it’s gone…” she reminded him. “I can’t think of anything better to spend it on!” he said starting to raise his voice a bit. “Seriously, would you rather it sit in the bank collecting interest, or would you rather be holding a child, OUR child?” He dropped his head and while reaching for her hand told her, “I’m just sorry that we will only have my genes to use and either donor eggs or the surrogate’s eggs. That’s certainly something we will have to talk about.” She quickly released his hand, closed her eyes tightly and whispered while grimacing, “Ross, I have to tell you something.” “Oh, Demelza…again?! This sounds serious. Remember the first time I proposed to you? Is it something like that?” “Well…” she said shrugging her shoulder apologetically. “Out with it, Demelza, please.” She drew a breath and explained, “When I had my surgery at age 18, my doctor told me about the possibility of harvesting my eggs for later if I found myself wanting to use them down the road.” “And…” Ross desperately wanted her to continue with more info. “And…I did it.” He immediately closed his eyes and shook his head in an annoyed disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me? Here I was trying to talk you into a child that would only have my genes when you knew all along we could use both our DNA? Why keep that from me, Demelza?” “Exactly what you just said, ‘you were trying to talk me into…’ I was afraid once you knew you would pressure me into something I wasn’t ready for!” Unlike typical married couples, they rarely argued, but this was getting pretty close as both of them were speaking a lot louder than usual. “I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to use them. I didn’t even think I wanted kids at all until…until I met you.” “Darling…you know I would never, ever pressure you into doing anything! Even now…I just wanted to know how you felt.” She was sobbing now. He reached out to her and cradled her to his chest. “I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t ready,” she explained with a muffled voice into his shirt. “But…I told you tonight because I think I am.” He was stroking her hair now. “You are what?” he asked her softly. “Ready. For this. For all of this.” He continued stroking her hair afraid to say something wrong that would make her change her mind. “I’m just scared, Ross.” “Of what?” he asked as his chin rested on the top of her head. “Of being a parent.” He peeled her back from him to look her in the eyes and say, “I’m scared too, Demelza. Let’s be scared together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We Ohioans love our Buckeyes. I just had to throw something in about our favorite team. Even my niece and nephew are graduates of the Ohio State University. I'm wearing one of several of my t-shirts now. GO BUCKS!
> 
> If I had a dollar for every time my husband and I have buffalo chicken dip for dinner...
> 
> What's that face? It's just my face - one of my favorite BH quotes!
> 
> In really only have 1 chapter left, but after seeing how long it is, I'm going to break it down into 3 parts. So, three chapters left until the end of this story!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big changes in the life of Ross and Demelza...

Ross and Demelza were sleeping soundly in their bed when the sounds of Garrick’s barks downstairs woke them. She recognized his bark as that of needing to go out. Demelza opened her eyes to stare at the clock. 6:42. Ugh, she thought to herself, wondering if Garrick knew it was Saturday. “I’ve got it,” Ross said, stretching his long arms and sitting up. She heard him walk to the bathroom and a second later she heard the toilet flush. Walking back towards the bed, he bent down where she was still laying and kissed her on the forehead. He tenderly tucked her into the covers like one would tuck in a child before bed. “Get some shut eye, sweetheart. You deserve it,” and he tiptoed out of the room. He peeked his head back in to say, “Don’t worry about anything. I’ve got everything under control,” and she saw his navy blue t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms walking out into the hall.

Demelza flipped over on her favorite sleeping side and stretched her long legs out. She couldn’t remember the last time she had gotten any decent rest, but sleep was not coming now as her mind raced. It was almost a year ago that she and Ross had celebrated their 5th anniversary, and she couldn’t believe how fast the time had gone. In just a few weeks they were having a small get together to celebrate their 6th, as they still thought each year was special and not just the milestone years. Demelza had already invited a few guests. Dwight and Caroline had said they were definitely coming, and Ross’s parents and brother and sister-in-law had confirmed that they would be there too. Even Demelza’s brothers, Drake and Sam who had both married, were planning on attending with their wives. Demelza still had to order the cake, but it was Saturday morning, and it would have to wait until Monday. No need to stress over it now.

Allowing herself to relax and drift off, she was awakened by the wild barking of Garrick downstairs again. She could hear his toenails clacking on her beautiful, hardwood floors as he ran. The puppy who had once fit in a small box and was presented as a gift to Demelza had grown into a 70 pound dog, always into mischief, always shedding and drooling, but loyal and loving to a fault.

She flipped over again and got comfy. She must have slept another 45 minutes when she was awakened by the sound of different feet. These belonged to her 4 year old fraternal twins, Jeremy and Julia, born with the help of a surrogate, a year after they were married. A C-section was required for their birth, and Demelza remembered the day she and her husband got into the car as Ross and Demelza, and two days later came home from San Francisco, where the surrogate lived, as an instant family of four. She remembered being petrified when she heard the surrogate was pregnant with twins. It was definitely more than she bargained for. But she soon saw what a help Ross was. It was like he was put on this earth to be a father, so loving and patient. Her heart about melted the first time she walked into the family room to see both infants asleep on his bare chest as he himself slept in his recliner. She snapped a quiet picture of them with her phone and it had been her lock screen ever since. Because Demelza couldn’t nurse them, Ross spent a lot of time feeding them with her. He changed diapers, he got barfed and peed on, so many times Demelza had to pry apart infant hands who were grasping and pulling at Ross’s hair, he “airplaned” their baby food into their mouths when they got older, he even rotated middle-of-the-night duty with her, bouncing and soothing wailing babies like a pro. Of course their dear friends Uncle Dwight and Aunt Caroline were there to spoil the children and were also very willing babysitters whenever Ross and Demelza had an obligation or just needed a date-night.

She could hear her children running and laughing downstairs with Garrick, Ross joining right along with them. It sounded like a great time and Demelza allowed herself to relax again. Looking at the clock next to the bed, she was just turning over for a few more minutes when she heard the shrill cries of her daughter. Demelza half sat up, propping herself on her elbows. Certainly she should go down and help Ross, she told herself, when her thoughts were interrupted by tiny foot steps in her room. “Oof,” Demelza groaned when a knee was inserted into her ribcage as Jeremy tried to climb in bed with her. Picking him up, scooting over and laying him beside her, Demelza asked him, “What’s happening downstairs? What’s wrong with your sister?” Nestled against her, Jeremy said, “Oh…Garrick ate one of Julia’s Barbie’s again. Daddy’s trying to put the hand back on.” Demelza smiled at that image. The man who rides around on a horse on TV, making women swoon, was now performing Barbie surgery while a hysterical 4 year old looked on. She turned her attention to her son and smoothed the black curls out of his eyes. There was no doubt he was Ross’s son, he was like him in so many ways: same unruly mane of curls, same long lashes that obscured his deep, brown eyes, and a patient and loving spirit for everyone around him. “Are you hungry?” she asked him. “Daddy made us pancakes shaped like Olaf.” Demelza couldn’t help thinking back to a time Ross had also made her pancakes. She also grimaced at the number of times her children had forced their parents to watch Frozen with them.

Just as Demelza saw her son’s eyelids getting heavy with sleep, another child bounded in the room and onto the bed with Ross and Garrick quickly on her heels. “Sorry, Love,” Ross said to Demelza, reaching for Julia who was escaping his arms. “Come downstairs, guys, and let mommy sleep.” “It’s fine, Ross,” she smiled over at her husband as she tucked her daughter on her side opposite her son. Julia’s face was tear stained as she was still clutching a Barbie with teeth marks that was visibly missing a hand. Holding it in the air, Julia announced, “Mommy, look what Garrick did!” On cue, Garrick jumped onto the bed, wagging his tail nervously as if to say, “Not me,” and curled up at the end of the bed by Demelza’s feet. Ross also climbed in, taking his own side of the bed. All four of them were now together, Demelza in between Jeremy and Julia, and Julia between Ross and Demelza. Ross softly told his daughter, “Jules, sweetie,” Demelza’s heart always skipped a beat when he assigned nicknames, “you have to put your dolls back in your toy box where Garrick can’t get to them.” Julia gave a tearful nod and Demelza leaned over to kiss her on top of her head. She too had the same black curls as Ross; that dark, Irish gene was STRONG. But what she had inherited from Demelza was her blue/green eyes, her stubborn spirit, and a generous sprinkling of her mother’s freckles on the bridge of her nose. She definitely was not as dark as Ross and Jeremy.

With the magic, elastic arms that all mom’s possess, Demelza reached out, past her son’s head, for the television remote that seemed a mile away on the nightstand beside her. Turning the TV on, she knew all she had to do was press play to reveal the exact scene they had left off with the last time they had watched Frozen. In a matter of seconds, her children were both transfixed, staring blankly at the screen, as if in a trance. She snuggled them up tighter to her. Looking over at Ross to flash him a smile, she was met with his tightly closed eyelids and his open mouth as he snored.

 

                        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this giant last chapter. Could I have posted it all at once? Yes, but my friend, Linden615 hates long chapters and skims through them, so I thought I'd break this one chapter into 3 large parts. Two more after this.
> 
> I always wished in the books and on the show that Ross was a little bit more involved in his kids' lives, especially Jeremy. There were some really cute family moments in S3 Poldark, so I wanted to write a Ross who was a devoted family man and all around great dad.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More with Daddy Ross...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part TWO of Chapter 19

As the four of them laid in bed, it didn’t take Demelza long to realize she was the only one awake. Even Garrick had abandoned her for the land of dreams, feet twitching every now and then as if he was chasing a rabbit in the yard. Demelza glanced over at Ross again to see if he was awake. The poor man was out from getting up so early and cooking two 4 year olds breakfast. As she was looking at him, she smiled as she noticed sprinklings of gray on each side of his chin in his beard stubble.

She thought about all the changes she and the children had brought to his life. His sleek, black Range Rover now had two car seats in the back, and a healthy supply of “nose art” on the windows and dog hair on the seats from when Garrick would accompany them on family rides. Ross wasn't too cool to drive around town in Demelza’s new mini-van either. His classic rock had long ago been swapped for Disney tunes, Ross knowing all the words as well as his children and singing just as loudly as he drove them around. Demelza got to witness first hand the “routine” all three of them had to Julia’s favorite song "Let It Go." When it came to their favorite part, it was like Ross was an orchestra conductor. “Ok, Jules,” he said cueing her in. Demelza turned from her passenger seat to hear her daughter sing, “My power flurries through the air into the ground,” “Jer…now,” “my soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around,” (she was impressed her son had sang “spiraling” and “fractals” - he clearly had the harder part), “my turn,” Ross said as he sang, “and one thought crystallizes like and icy blast,” They sang this next part together: “I’m never going back, the past is in the PASSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTT…” (dramatic pause) “Let it go…let it go…” Demelza was dying laughing.

Demelza remembered the time she came home with Jeremy from a doctor’s appointment. Her poor son was prone to ear infections and she took him to discuss the options of putting tubes in his ears. They stopped to get frozen yogurt on the way home and to enjoy a little mother / son time. When she got home, she couldn’t find Ross or Julia anywhere. Jeremy immediately plunked down on the couch with Demelza’s IPAD while Demelza shouted, “Ross? Julia?” “Up here!” she heard her husband answer. She did a few things in the kitchen before she headed upstairs, having no idea what she was about to find. There sat Ross in the tiniest of chairs at Julia’s tea table, clinking small, plastic cups with his daughter, pinky extended out because, “that’s how all the fancy people drink it.” Julia was wearing a tiara and sunglasses, and below Ross’s very masculine beard stubble a pink feather boa was wrapped. Demelza’s heart almost hurt with her love for this man as she herself had never had a father who cared that much about her. She hoped Julia knew how lucky she was.

Later that evening at the dinner table, Demelza looked over and saw Ross’s nails were painted pink. “What’s this?” she asked him smiling. “Oh…Jules gave me a manicure, didn’t you sweetie?” Julia beamed, “Yes! And I wanted to give him a pedicure too but daddy said no.” Ross laughed, “Nobody needs to be traumatized by daddy’s feet. They are a bit gnarly.” They all laughed as they knew it was true.

When Ross stepped out of the shower that night, he smiled when he saw Demelza had laid out the nail polish remover and cotton balls for him. “God, Dem, how do you get this stuff off? It’s stuck around my cuticles!” “Elbow grease, dear,” she shouted from the bed, “and wash your hands when you’re done. You’ll breathe that stuff in all night and get a headache if you don’t.” He had no idea when he finally retired for the night that his wife was waiting for him, ready to repay him and show her appreciation for his good daddy skills. He never fully understood the effect this had on her. He sang a crying baby to sleep, she waited for him in bed that night; he put a bandaid on a skinned knee while comforting a sobbing child, there she was under the covers; he sat on the floor and colored in coloring books with the twins, she couldn’t keep her hands off him. It’s stuff he gladly did that just came naturally to him, he didn’t need to be thanked…but who was he to complain. He got into bed, and minutes later he was torn between watching the vision of his wife as her lips and mouth descended on him in all the right places, or close his eyes and throw his head back. He threaded his fingers through her hair and knowing to be quiet with sleeping children down the hall, his voice strained as he tried his best to whisper between pants, “Demelza…please…yessssss…I wasn’t aware that today was…so good, darling…my birthday.”

Ross’s relationship with Jeremy was just as special as it was with his daughter. While Demelza was washing dishes or working in the kitchen, she saw through the window above the sink countless hours of the two of them kicking soccer balls around or throwing footballs. She remembered vividly the time Jeremy had scored a goal right into Ross’s groin. She didn’t mean to laugh when she saw her husband writhing in pain on the grass, cupping his manhood with both hands. “Goal!” Jeremy shouted. When Ross had assembled the swings / slide combination in the back yard, Jeremy stayed by his side the whole time, handing Ross the tools and parts he asked for. Ross told Jeremy on several occasions that he wouldn’t have been able to build it without his help. He made Jeremy feel very proud. Demelza always knew Ross would be a great father, she just never knew the extent of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part of my really long chapter about family life...
> 
> I got the inspiration for Ross letting Julia paint his nails from an episode of Property Brothers. The homeowners had twin girls that the carpenter brother, I think his name is Jonathan, allowed to paint his nails. It was very heartwarming and I filed that away in my memory.
> 
> The next chapter is supposed to be the very last one to this entire story, but I think I can come up with more ideas, at least for a while...


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you're a celebrity and your children couldn't care less...

The worst part of being a parent, at least in Demelza’s eyes, is that her children had no care of who their parents were. They were definitely not star-struck. They hated Demelza’s cooking. Hated it with a capital H. It mattered not that she was a trained chef. She remembered the first time she made her famous macaroni and cheese for them. She even hand-grated three different cheeses: Cheddar, Gruyere, and Parmesan, and also included cream cheese. She put a layer of bread crumbs on top and broiled them until they were crisp. There were so many layers of gooey cheese when she spooned out helpings onto plates. Her children were hysterical. Julia, being the more dramatic of the two, even threw herself onto the floor in a fit. Demelza remembered the exact amount of time her children cried: 5 minutes and 30 seconds which was exactly how much time it took her to open the Easy Mac, fill each cup with water, microwave, add cheese sauce and stir, blow on it to cool it off, and set it in front of her children. Voila. Instant, happy kids who even licked the inside of the cup to get all the “cheese” sauce out. She smiled when she saw Ross dumping each of their original servings onto his own plate, a giant mound of her mac and cheese saying, “Oh well. More for me!” Chicken parmigiana was replaced with Dino nuggets and ketchup, and pizza rolls were a staple in the freezer for emergencies at the Poldark house. The children actually agreed to eat sloppy joes, but only the kind that had sauce out of a can and not Demelza’s special recipe with Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar.

To make matters worse, they LOVED Ross’s cooking, but daddy was known for grilling out. On a Father’s Day, Demelza actually surprised him by having an outdoor kitchen installed into the patio of the back yard. She made Ross cover his eyes as she led him outside, revealing the fancy grill, countertops, sink and outdoor fridge. “Open it,” she told him pointing to the refrigerator, and when he did, he saw it was fully stocked with steaks, hamburgers, and hot dogs. They cooked out that night for dinner, Ross at the helm of his new grill, and instantly was a hero with his children as they enjoyed the burgers and dogs while Ross and Demelza dined on the fancy steaks.

But Ross was not immune to his children’s difficulty of being impressed. Once when Demelza picked up the twins from preschool, Julia was sobbing. Really, when wasn’t Julia sobbing? She was more like Demelza that her patient father. She got both kids into their carseats, and when she pulled away from the school, she asked her daughter what was wrong. She waited for the usual like, “the milk was chocolate today and I wanted white,” or, “my straw was blue and I wanted red.” Her daughter offered no explanation. Luckily she had Jeremy. “Why is your sister crying? Did something happen at school?” Jeremy had been born with a healthy dose of truth serum and Demelza always took advantage of this. “Keegan said something about daddy.” “Who’s Keegan?” Demelza asked. “Julia’s BOYFRIEND!” her son practically sang the sentence. He was met with shouts of “No he’s not!” from his sister. Demelza reminded herself not to panic since her daughter was four. “What could Keegan possibly say about daddy? He doesn’t even know him, does he?” Demelza asked into the rearview as she drove. Finally her daughter was ready to speak, “He said daddy kisses girls and makes them cry!” Demelza couldn’t stifle her laughter. She had no idea what it meant, but it wasn’t at all what she expected her daughter to say. “Darling,” she said to Julia, “when have you seen daddy kiss a girl other than you or mommy? I’ve never felt like crying because he kissed me. Have you?” Julia went on, “No, he said daddy does it on TV.” And there it was. She and Ross knew this day was coming. They had not allowed their children to watch, let alone know anything about Ross’s career. As far as Jeremy and Julia knew, daddy went to work just like everyone else.

When she got home, Demelza told Ross what had happened and they both agreed to sit down with the twins and show them an excerpt, carefully chosen, from his show. As the four of them sat in the family room in front of the large-screen TV, Jeremy was the only one to speak. “That’s not daddy,” were the first words out of his mouth. Both Ross and Demelza tried to convince him that it was. “Why are your clothes so weird? Why is your hat pointy? What’s wrong with your eye? Why are you talking like that?” Demelza noticed her daughter said nothing. “Julia, what about you?” she asked her. “That’s not daddy.” “Why not, sweetheart?” Ross asked her. She sat there thinking before she said, “That man looks grumpy and won’t smile. Daddy laughs all the time.” Demelza and Ross both broke out into laughter, but at the same time were so shocked that she could notice how broody Ross’s character was in comparison to his own personality. And Demelza knew how many times her husband would laugh while filming a scene, much to his co-stars’ frustrations.

Demelza was horrified a week later when she was outside working on her garden while the kids played in the backyard. Jeremy had taken her wide-brimmed gardening hat, and putting it on his head, began running around the yard with his sister shouting, “Elizabeth, I will not smile at you, I am too busy riding my horse!” “Guys!” Demelza shouted at her kids to get their attention, “maybe we shouldn’t pretend we are daddy’s show when we are playing. It might hurt his…” and glancing up she saw Ross was standing on the patio, having seen the whole thing. What a kick to the ego, she feared. Surprisingly, he ran around the yard, picking up both squealing children under each arm, laughing as hard as they were and told them, “I’ll smile at you if I want to, you rascals!” and he carried them into the house for lunch.

****************

Demelza’s trip down memory lane as all four of them laid in bed ended abruptly when Garrick jumped down to vomit on the floor, the familiar sound waking everyone up. Ross and Demelza both sprung up, Ross out of his deep sleep, as they knew Garrick preferred to barf on expensive rugs and carpets rather than easy to clean hardwood floors just steps away. Ross immediately tried to direct Garrick off the ornate, Persian rug underneath the bed as Demelza went into the bathroom to gather some toilet paper for clean up. She wasn’t even back yet when she heard the glee in her husband’s voice as he said, “Jules, will you look at that! Here’s your Barbie’s hand!” and passed Demelza on the way out of the bathroom to rinse the hand in the sink. “Do we have any superglue, Dem?” he shouted from the bathroom. “Kitchen junk drawer if we do,” she shouted back in. Ross left the bedroom with Julia on his heels for more Barbie surgery downstairs.

As Demelza sat indian-style on the floor, carefully dabbing her rug with toilet paper, she allowed herself a few more memories, namely, the one with her being told at 18 of her upcoming surgery and how she herself would never give birth. Then she thought about how negatively her family and friends had reacted to her plans of dropping everything in Ohio, and driving out to California to pursue her dream as a chef. Not only did she get a career, she also found a soulmate and became mother to two beautiful and healthy children who were the perfect reflection of her and her husband and of their love for one another. She felt truly blessed and some days she literally had to pinch herself that all of this was indeed happening. Coming out of the bathroom where she had flushed the mess away, Jeremy was still sitting on the bed. Are you ready, mommy?” “I am,” Demelza smiled, and he jumped off the bed, taking her hand, leading her downstairs to start their day.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part three of my really long chapter where Demelza lays in bed while Ross and her children are asleep and afraid to wake them, she runs through a lot of memories about family life.
> 
> This is where I ended the story for the second time. The first time was when Ross proposed and gave her the dog that she said they should name Garrick. I wasn't sure if anyone would be interested in family life with kids, but I have gotten a lot of positive feedback on the family chapters. I had ONE MORE family idea that I wrote last night, and I will be posting it soon in three small chapters so my friend doesn't have to skim.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross prepares to walk the red-carpet...

Demelza heard both sets of men’s footsteps coming down the stairs and then her front door opening. “Cheers,” she heard her husband say, and then the door closed. Tonight was the Emmy Awards at the Kodak Theater here in LA and Ross had been nominated for Best Period Drama Actor. His stylist, Kenny Ho, had come over to get Ross ready for the event. She heard Ross’s feet clad in dress shoes as he made his way into the kitchen where his family was. He was in a dark blue suit jacket with a black lapel, black pants, a white dress shirt and black bowtie. His hair was stylishly pulled back into a manbun. Even the children dropped their jaws with Demelza when he walked in. Julia was the first to jump off her island barstool to run over to him, “Daddy, you look bootiful!” she shrieked as she reached her arms up for him to pick her up. “My goodness,” Ross groaned as he picked his 4 year old daughter up, “no more growing, ok? You’re not as easy to lift as you used to be.” Julia giggled as Ross smooched her extra loudly on her cheek and set her back down.

“You look very dapper,” Demelza said, coming over to straighten his bowtie. “I wish you were coming with me,” Ross told her, “you know these things make me so nervous.” The twins both had been running a fever for the last couple of days, not high enough to take them to Urgent Care, but yet high enough to not take them to a sitter's. Dwight and Caroline had offered to come to their house to stay with them while Ross and Demelza attended, and even though Dwight was a doctor, Demelza just couldn’t leave her kids when they were sick. In a way she was relieved to have such a believable excuse to stay home as she was scared to be seen with Ross at one of his public events, especially when photographers and TV cameras would be there. Demelza couldn’t help acknowledging that Ross’s fans would appreciate thinking he was single and available, rather than him parading his wife around. Ross of course thought differently.

“You’ll be fine,” she reassured him while smoothing the lapel of his suit. “Do you have your speech?” she asked him. He immediately burst into laughter, “Oh, Demelza…I didn’t even make one. I’m not going to win tonight. It’s just…how does the sayings go…an honor to be nominated.”

The twins were already in their pajamas, Julia in her Elsa nightgown and Jeremy in his Captain America pajamas. Ross walked over to where the kids were sitting at the island and put his hand on Jeremy’s forehead and then each cheek. “His face still feels hot, Demelza.” He did the same to Julia, “so does hers. Have you given them another dose of fever reducer?” “They are due in a half hour,” she said looking at the clock, “and it’s Sunday. If they aren’t better by tomorrow, I’m calling the doctor first thing in the morning.” Ross nodded his head but Demelza could read his mind, “Don’t worry, Ross, we will be fine here tonight while you’re gone.”

Hearing Demelza say this, Jeremy immediately burst into tears. Demelza already had laid out multiple bowls, cornstarch, hair conditioner, and food coloring to make slime. Jeremy was under the impression that Ross would be helping them tonight. “Nooooooooooo daddy,” he said between sobs, “You have to make slime with us!” Julia was now crying in solidarity.

Both kids ran over to Ross, hugging him around each leg. “You can’t leave!” Jeremy commanded. Demelza was the first to speak, “Guys, daddy has to go, but I’ll make slime with you. Do you remember when soccer was over and they gave each of you trophies for completing the season?” Both kids nodded while still clinging to Ross’s legs. “Well, that’s what daddy has tonight. They are going to say thank you for a job well done on his TV show. He has to be there for them to tell him and he might even get a trophy. You don’t want daddy to miss that do you?” Ross managed to get closer to where Demelza was standing by dragging each of his children who were now sitting on his feet and clinging to him around his calves. If there was a whistle that only dogs could hear, Ross had perfected a whisper that only his wife could hear. Brushing her hair away with his fingers his lips tickled her ear as he whispered, “Perhaps another thank you is in order when I get home?” Demelza immediately inserted her elbow into his ribs.

Ross looked at his cellphone for the time, “Hey, guys, if you start the slime now, I could stand here and watch you for a few minutes before my car picks me up, OK?” That was enough to appease the twins. They released him and took their spots at the island. Ross stood carefully in his suit and did clean jobs like hand them the tablespoon and measure water. It was just a few minutes later that a car horn was heard outside of the house. “That’s me,” Ross told them. Julia and Jeremy had both started mixing the goo with their hands and immediately jumped down from their chairs and ran over to Ross for goodbye kisses. “Freeze!” Demelza shouted, getting to Ross first and handing each child a paper towel for their messy fingers. “Be careful of daddy’s suit!” “I’ll just pick them up this way,” Ross said, as he lifted each child with their arms at their sides straight into the air and pecked them on the cheeks. “They’ll have to keep their hands to themselves this way.” “Does that include me?” Demelza asked waiting her turn as she put her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. “Text me if anything changes with the kids,” Ross said nervously at Demelza. “I’ll try to remember to check my phone periodically since I won’t be able to have the sound on.” “Will do,” Demelza reassured him. She smacked him on the butt for good luck and he was gone.

They played with the slime for a while after Ross left and then it was time for the twins’ dose of medicine. They had no appetite for dinner and were looking pale and tired, so Demelza took them out to the couch where they could lay down and watch TV. She sat on the middle cushion while the kids took each end, both sets of feet resting in Demelza’s lap. “Hold my foot, mommy,” Jeremy asked as he always did when he was sick. Demelza did and then flipped on the TV. “Let’s see if we can watch daddy getting out of the car,” Demelza said finding the entertainment channel. Either the red carpet was really boring or the kids were really tired because they soon were fast asleep. Demelza didn’t realize this until she saw Ross on the screen and turned to say, “Guys! There’s da…” and stopped mid sentence so as not to wake them. She turned back to the screen and saw Ross getting out of his car, the photo bulbs flashing non-stop. Then she saw it, the giant stain on his shoulder.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross walks the red-carpet with a stain on his shoulder...

It didn’t look like slime. It looked brown. It looked bad. And it was the size of a quarter. Demelza in a panic reached forward for her cellphone on the coffee table in front of her.

Demelza: Ross are you there?

Demelza: Please tell me you had the sense to put your phone on vibrate…

Demelza: ROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Demelza: 911 Ross GIANT stain right shoulder

Demelza: Never in my life have I wanted you to see a text more…

Demelza: Looks like (poo emoji)

Demelza: Ross, For the love of all things holy…look at your phone!!!!!!!!!

The whole time she was texting, she could see him walking down the red carpet, getting closer and closer to more people. She was just typing out one more message when she saw him being ushered up the steps and to the interview platform where Ryan Seacrest was waiting.

Ryan introduced him to the TV audience by saying, “Arriving now is period drama actor, Ross Poldark. Hello, Sir. I don’t think we've met.” Ross smiled, “Cheers,” and reached out to shake Ryan’s hand. “No, I don’t believe we have,” he said to Ryan. The stain was so visible. It was SHOUTING at Demelza and everyone watching. Ryan continued, “You’re a Dublin man, right? But you’ve filmed all seasons of your show here in the States?” “Yeah…all here in California,” Ross explained, “but I live here. I have for close to 7 years now. Married an American girl and had kids so I guess I should stick around, right?” and chuckled. Demelza was surprised at how thick his Irish accent sounded. He almost needed subtitles to be understood. She knew he only spoke like this when he was incredibly angry or nervous. She bet this was nerves.

Ryan asked him the age old question, “What are you wearing tonight?” “Ok”…Ross said deep in thought, “my wife practiced this with me before I left…Hardy Amies,” he said, smiling that he remembered. “No,” Ryan said correcting him, “WHAT are you wearing?” and pointed to the stain. Demelza grimaced and face palmed her hand to her forehead. She watched as her husband tried to look down, past his cheek at his shoulder. Then she was aghast to see, on national TV, her husband lifting the fabric off his shoulder, and stretching it to his nose to smell. “Did you just smell the stain?” Ryan Seacrest asked laughing. Demelza was shaking her head in horror. Ross said, “With two four year olds in the house you never know. It could be anything. This smells like the slime they were making in the kitchen and not…” Ryan looked around and said, “I know someone has a laundry wipe around here, and searching the crowd shouted, “Does anyone have a Shout Wipe or a Tide Pen?” Demelza shook her head again in utter horror as she saw her husband scratching the dried stain off with a fingernail. “It’s coming right off,” Ross beamed. “I’m surprised my wife didn’t text me about this,” Ross said as he took out his phone from his jacket pocket. “She’s usually…OH…” he said staring at his phone. “I have 10 messages from my wife.”

Demelza saw Ross shake hands again with Ryan and make his way down from the platform. Knowing Ross would not be on screen again for a while, she carried each child, one by one, up the stairs and put them into their beds. She did a few loads of laundry, like she did every night, and bringing a warm pile of sheets to her coffee table to fold, she stood glancing at the screen to see that they were just getting to the Best Period Drama Actor category. She watched as her screen was split into 6 boxes, each containing a different nominee. It took her a while to see her husband was in the bottom right box. When she finally found him, he was the only one of the six that was beginning to stand up. Demelza dropped to a sitting position on her couch as she watched with surprise as Ross bounded up the stairs and onto the stage. They handed him the Emmy and he chuckled, “My wife just asked me earlier today if I wrote out a speech…I guess I should have, sweetheart.” Then he went on to thank all his co-stars and crew because the show was “not just about him” and “he couldn’t do what he did without the great acting and inspiration of the others,” and he rattled off all their names impressively fast given the time limit. Demelza noticed his accent was at about a 10 and wished he could dial it down to a 4 or 5, where it normally was, even though she herself had no trouble understanding him. He told everyone how incredibly proud he was to accept this award on behalf of the entire cast and crew but then leaned into the microphone to say, “But I am incredibly proud to be husband to my best friend, my soulmate and my rock, Demelza, whom I love so very much and who is home with our twins, Jeremy and Julia, with fevers. Daddy loves you and I will be home to kiss you goodnight soon.” Then he raised his Emmy in the air, saying “Cheers,” and left the stage.

Demelza continued to watch even after Ross’s part was over but soon fell asleep on the couch.  She had put her phone on silent after the kids went to bed and missed all of Ross’s texts.

Ross: Are kids ok?

 

Ross: Going to just a few after-parties if kids are alright.  Seems award winners have to make an appearance.  Shouldn’t take long…

 

Ross:  Ok, this is lasting longer than thought...

 

Ross: My eyes are blinded by all these pictures

 

Ross: My face hurts from smiling so much…

 

Ross: I’m so drunk texting you now…

 

Ross: Car just pulled up for me.  Be there in half hour.  Hope you’re already asleep. 

 

Demelza, still on the couch, opened her eyes at 3 am to hear Ross’s key opening the front door.  Even Garrick, who was sleeping on the floor by the couch got up and barked, and then wagged his tail when he saw his owner.  Ross came in and set the Emmy on the coffee table by the folded laundry. He sat on the edge of the couch beside Demelza and kissed her on the cheek.  He smelled like cocktails and cigarette smoke.  She smiled, “Congratulations…I knew you would win.”  She could barely stay awake long enough to say this.  “Go up to bed, darling.  Maybe tomorrow we can find a nice place for this,” and gestured his head towards the Emmy.  “It is tomorrow,” she reminded him.  “I’m too sleepy to move,” she told him, “just let me crash here.” “I’ll carry you upstairs,” he told Demelza.  “Fool!” she giggled, "you can’t lift…oh, ok.  I guess you still can…” as she was in his arms and going up the stairs with him.  “Please tell me you’re not too drunk and drop me!”

He put her down gently in their bed and headed down the hall to Jeremy’s room first.  His son was sound asleep so Ross kissed him on the forehead, noticing his face felt much cooler than before he left.  “Goodnight, Jeremy.  I hope you are feeling better.  Daddy missed you and  thought about you all night.”  Jeremy didn’t move.  He was the sound sleeper that Ross was.  

Next he went into Julia’s room, who’s eyes opened the moment her door creaked a bit.  “DADDY!” she said surprised as Ross brought a finger to his lips to keep her from waking the entire house.  “Hi, sweetheart.  How are you feeling?”  She didn’t answer him but asked, “Did they thank you with a trophy?  Do you want to put it here on my shelf next to my soccer one?”  He smiled and came over to sit on the edge of her bed.  “Yes, they did, and I can’t think of a better place to put it.”  She was wrinkling her nose at him, “You stink,” she said, not used to him smelling like smoke and liquor.  He smiled, “I know. I’m sorry.  I’ll take a shower and brush my teeth and I’ll be better tomorrow. Is it ok if I still kiss you on the forehead?”  She nodded and he did.  He was just about to get up when she said, “Daddy?”  “Yes, sweetheart?”  “I’m glad you’re my daddy.”  She had never said this to him before.  He wasn’t sure if it was the fever talking but he didn’t care.  It was enough to make him well up.  He smoothed the hair on her head and told her while fighting back tears, “Nothing I ever do is more important than being your dad,” and he kissed her again on the forehead and left the room.

Out in the hall now, he realized that what his daughter had just told him, meant more than a mountain of awards for his career.  He also realized that he would never permit anyone to date her as long as he was alive.  Especially not a cocky Irishman for whom she would be employed and would blatantly pursue her against rules, sleeping with her while she still worked for him, and making her lose her job that she drove all the way across the country to get.  He also hoped his son did not grow up to be that cocky Irishman. He shook his head at what a horrible role model he was to his children.   “Do as I say, not as I do.”  But he loved them both with all of his heart, and his children, and Demelza too, definitely made him want to be a better man.  This was a lot of sentimentality he finally laughed to himself, and chalked it up to the booze.

It was almost 4 am.  Ross went into his bedroom, shed his bowtie and suit, and climbed into bed in just his boxers next to a sleeping Demelza.  He was gently spooning her when she woke up and said, “You stink.”  He laughed, “You Poldark women!  Your daughter just said the same thing.  I’m too tired to shower now…tomorrow.” “It IS tomorrow,” she reminded him again.  He flipped over in the opposite direction to give her some fresh air from his cigarette hair and cocktail breath. “No, come back,” she said and tugged at his arm.  He snuggled again with her.  “Demelza?”  “Hmmmmm?” she answered.  “I’m a terrible example to our kids.”  She was silent a minute.  “Ross, you’re drunk.  You’re a great father. This will all look different when you wake.”  “No seriously,” he went on.  “I was such a flirt with you, and I chased you relentlessly, never giving up even when I knew the rules of your Agency, and I forced you into my bed…and you lost your job…” “Ross, forced me into your bed?  That’s not at all how I see it.  You never did anything I didn’t already want you to do.  And I could have stopped it.  I could’ve asked for another assignment and removed myself from the situation.  It all turned out, Ross, don’t you think?”  He was silent.  “Well, we don’t need to tell the children all the details.”  “The secret is safe, Ross, now go to sleep.” They were silent for a long while before Ross said, “Demelza?”  “Ross!  I was almost aslee…” “I love you,” he interrupted her complaint.  “I love you more,” was her reply, and they drifted off to sleep.

                                                                                             THE END

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where this fic ends. Thank you to everyone who has read, made comments, supported and encouraged me along the way. This has been an unbelievable experience for me as I have never really written anything and never dreamed I would get the positive responses that you all have given me. My job is starting back up, and I know I won't have the time I once did for writing, but I hope to write more fics in the future. Thanks again!


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